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Movies Review Archives
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House of Flying Daggers 
House of Flying Daggers was awesome, but did it kick as much ass as Hero? Also, find out where to buy the DVD today!
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Star Wars: Episode III Trailer
A lemur's reaction to George Lucas, Hayden Christensen, lightsabers, and the Revenge of the Sith teaser.
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I *Heart* Huckabees
The Mouse moved to LA and is all settled in... and now, a belatedly posted movie review.
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Taxi: Sans Queen Latifah
Did you know that there's original French version of Taxi or that there were two sequels? Read on...
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Silver City
Oy vey... isn't there enough humor in the real presidential election? Apparently not for Jennifer!
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Master Killer DVD
Caucassianal Kenny recalls: Before Gordon Liu was Kill Bill's Pai Mei, he was the Master Killer in The 36th Chamber.
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King Arthur
Chapter 11 Studios' Josh Roberts helps out this week by subjecting himself to the trainwreack that is King Arthur.
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Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
JapaNerd Johnathan proclaims Stand Alone Complex best for round eyes. Err, or something like that.
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I, Robot
Pretty good sci fi noir if the acting and CGI were better. Much better. A whole lot better. Mo' better.
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Twins Effect DVD
A belated good and bad review of a kung fu vampire flick that really should've been much better than it was.
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Spider-Man 2
The Spider. The Octopus. The hot red-headed Chick. And most importantly, the Mouse.
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Azumi DVD
Two non-stop hours of Samurai sword fights a la Kill Bill. With an incredibly cute Japanese chick.
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Requiem for a Screen: Battle Royale 2
A Japanese teen bloodbath sequel to the much better Japanese teen bloodbath flick Battle Royale.
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The Whole Bloody Affair: Kill Bill Vol. 2
The Bride is back and Bill's gonna be in trouble, hey laaaa hey laaaaaaa The Bride is back! Hey ya?
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Hellboy
Jennifer says, "Thank God for Hellboy!" If that doesn't rile up the religious right, I don't know what will!
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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Can Charlie Kaufman's latest film keep The Lemur thoroughly thought-provoked? Or something like that?
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Cruciforce: Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter
Back on track with Johnathan's never ending love affair with all things undead. But this time Canadian and not Japanese, ay?
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A Mighty Wind DVD
Christopher Guest rules. Christopher Guest rules. Christopher Guest rules. Christopher Guest rules.
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Lion King 1 1/2 1 1/4 Thumbs Up
Straight-to-video Disney movies rock Manolo's world like earthquakes of miniscule magnitude.
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House of the Dead Should Be a Movie
One of the Newmoanyeah staffers is talking about zombies and it AIN'T Johnathan. What up, Manolo?
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Big Fish
Get your rotten tomatoes ready... The Lemur liked Big Fish better than Lord of the Rings: Return of the King!
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Jaws DVD
The Jaws DVD makes it still not safe for Missie to go back in the water.
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Audition: Recipe for Yeeeeesh!
Enjoy a recipe for unconventional horror. But beware, those with aversions to needles may not enjoy as much as others.
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Love Actually
Uh. Mitch willingly went to see Love Actually AND LIKED IT! Does that criminal offense warrent banishment?
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X2 DVD
X2 was quite possibly the greatest comic book-derived film ever. Is the DVD worthy of similar accolades?
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The Missing
The Lemur gnaws on Ron Howard's latest, The Missing. Editor Steve just wanted to use the word "gnaw".
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Dawn of the Dead DVD
Whilst Johnathan frolicks amongst Japanese zombies, Kenny, in turn, cavorts with their European counterparts.
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Gothika
The Lemur survives Halle Berry's dark and stormy pseudo-thriller like a guy who barely didn't get kicked off the island.
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T3 DVD: Schwarzenegger and Breasts of All Sizes
If Arnie didn't make it as a body builder, an actor, and a politician, I'm sure he would've excelled as a Japanese subway groper.
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Bloodsport II: The Next Kumite
Yes, Bloodsport had a sequel. In fact, it had THREE! But, just how good was the Van Damme-less second installment?
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Wild Zero DVD: Hungry Like The Wolf
Johnathan reviewing a Japanese zombie flick? Never! And if by "Never" we mean "Frequently," then yes.
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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2003
The not-so-stupid teens of Texas Chainsaw Massacre aren't just murdered, but humiliated and murdered!
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Kill Bill: Volume (w)One(derful)
Was there really any question about how much better than the Red Sox season this would be? Spoiler-free review ahead.
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Irreversible DVD
Finally, the REVIEW of Irreversible... possibly more disturbing than a game 7, 11th inning loss to the Yankees.
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Star Wars Trilogy on DVD
Are funky import versions of the ORIGINAL Star Wars trilogy worth the dough? Editor Steve (Star Wars addict) lets you know.
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From Justin to Kelly to the Hearts of Rented Videos-Goers
Believe it or not, this WASN'T a Sadistic Assigned Review. Manolo did this to himself. Yeeeesh.
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Underworld
An epic clan war between werewolves and vampires... can Lemurish Staffer Matt possibly survive?
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To Be Thirteen Again
Kerry reviews that teen angsty flick everyone's been talking about. Repetitive subheaders a la Editor Steve within.
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Musa the Warrior DVD
The artsy, yet gritty, realistic, and ultra-violent period war epic is damn good.
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Equilibrium
The box of this DVD has the audacity to proclaim, "Forget The Matrix! This movie will blow you away!" Yeesh.
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Freddy vs. Jason
Our new staffer is oddly obsessed with bathrooms. More specifically bathroom floors. Just thought you should know.
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Satan Returns DVD
A semi-obscure (not kung fu, not bullet ballet, but horror!) film starring Donnie Yen and Chingmy Yau.
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Junk: Looks, Brains, and Everything
Johnathan is back with yet ANOTHER Japanese zombie flick review... almost as good as necrophilia!
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Open Range: Dear K. Costner...
This might technically be Newmoanyeah's first retraction ever. Scandal and conflict!
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The Returner DVD
That Takeshi Kaneshiro is one bad mofo who knows how to pose with a gun and wind-swept jacket.
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Give Summer Camp a Chance
Camp has all the realistic teenage angsty awkwardness that Newmoanyeah staffers keep well into their 20s.
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Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
Even our female Cowboy Booted staffer digs Lara Croft's flow. More women should wear skin-tight silver body suits.
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Swimming Pool
Heh heh heh... Matt finds All My Children enjoyable. *Snicker... guffaw!*
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Spellbound: Extreme Spelling
This just goes to show that the easiest way to get on TV must be to invent a "sport" of some kind.
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Alex and Emma
Suuuuure, Jennifer. You were "forced" to go see this laaaaaaame chick flick.
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Pirates of the Caribbean Shivers My Timbers
Yaaaaaaar, matey! I'll make ye walk the plank with me parrot! *SQUAWK! Walk the plank, walk the plank!*
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Art of the Saber
Hong Kong kung fu action meets Star Wars in a Jedi vs. Sith battle... with a shockingly Matrix-like wardrobe.
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Two MORE Reasons to See Finding Nemo
Yes, it's a great movie for kids and adults, but the entertainment starts long before the opening credits.
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The Ring Virus (Korean Version)
Yup, a THIRD The Ring movie review. This time: the less-than-stellar Korean version with hermaphrodites!
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The Matrix Reloaded
A long overdue review of The Matrix Reloaded. The short of it: I like it; it wasn't perfect.
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X2: X-Men United
Editor Steve turns into the raving über-geek that he is... in a spoiler-free kind of way.
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The French Connection: Wasabi
Luc Besson and Jean Reno is a blend as good as tuna fish and pickles. (Editor Steve LOVES tuna and pickles!)
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Scotland, PA
Matt gets a taste of Macbeth reset in the 1970's fast food industry with surprisingly yummy results.
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Hero: Saves the Day
So sad, so sad. Editor Steve LOVED Hero in all its color coded artsiness. Johnathan on the other hand...
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ExtravaChanza: Happy Birthday Jackie Chan
Some quick reviewlets of Jackie's best. Belated happy 49th, o' master of disaster!
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Laurel Canyon
I dub Alec Morrison, Newmoanyeah freelancer extraordinaire! Here's his take on Lisa Cholodenko's latest.
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Rust Boy
Anyone that can turn their hobby (especially if it involves techno-geeky animation) into a full-time job is okay with me.
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Teeming with Souls: The Boondock Saints
I'd just like to point out Johnathan's clever Star Wars-related play on words: Brogue Squadron. Thank you.
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I Spit on Your Grave DVD
To say the least, this is not an easy film for man or woman to watch... ever. Ever. EVER!!!
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Daredevil Dueling Movie Reviews
This is what happens when a non-comic reader and a comic reader review a comic-based movie together.
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Talk to Her
Avid Newmoanyeah reader Alec slipped us a rufie and this dandy review of Pedro Almodovar's latest flick.
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Living Dead Girl: Stacy
Heh heh heh... Johnathan and his Japanese zombie flicks. Mmm... brains.
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Mariah Carey's Glitter
Doug, the music and movie buff, fell victim to a very sadistic Sadistic Assigned Review... umm, assignment.
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Undead Reckoning: Versus
Evil Dead meets John Woo meets The Matrix meets George Romero meets a review by Johnathan.
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Adaptation
After reading this movie review, you'll wish your mind worked a little more like Lemusish Staffer Matt's.
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Splatterpunk: Story of Ricky
You've probably seen the exploding head clip on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
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Stranded VHS
Editor Steve loved Swamp Thing as much as Lemurish Matt's dad. Stranded must REALLY suck, though.
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13 Conversations... vs. Halloween: Resurrection
A movie review battle to rival all movie review battles! Will Manolo sober up? Will boobies prevail? WOW!
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Star Trek Nemesis
Comic Conventional Jennifer returns from her stint of holiday articles to give you the poop on the latest Trek installment.
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Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring SE DVD
Editor Doug delves head-long into the geeky goodness that is the 4 DVD Special Edition of Fellowship of the Ring.
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Nice Gash!: The Princess Blade
Hmm... hot Asian babes with swords and nifty choreography by Donnie Yen. Does Johnathan like? You may be surprised!
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The Dandy Highwayman: BMWfilms.com
Mmmm... REALLY long car commercials that are much more entertaining than they should be. Eleventeen thumbs up.
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Bond Redeemed Die Another Day
I agree with Kerri that Halle Berry has NOTHING on Michelle Yeoh as the TRUE Bond-girl of the future!
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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Ever wonder if Joey Potter and Harry Potter were related? Well, this review does not answer that question.
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Brotherhood of the Wolf VHS
So what if he doesn't have a DVD player? That doesn't lessen his rental movie reviewing prowess. Plbbbbbt!
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Spirited Away
Any review that states, "Chihiro must de-porkify her parents," is a good one. Mmmm... wrong sounding.
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Automatic Weapons & Boundless Love: Battle Royale
Read this lengthy, but worthwhile review of the Survivor-meets-Lord of the Flies, Battle Royale.
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The Ring (US Version)
A quick, nearly spoiler-free review of Gore Verbinski's The Ring to read while you're on the pot.
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Donnie Darko DVD
Demonic bunnies, cha cha cha... Demonic bunnies, cha cha cha... Demonic bunnies, cha cha cha...
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Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever
Antonio Banderas: cool. Lucy Liu: cool. Ray Park: cool. Ballistic: not-so-cool vs. not-cool-at-all.
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Kung Foo: A Look at Shaolin Soccer
The JapaNerd reviews this Cool Runnings meets The Matrix and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon kung fu comedy.
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Good, Bad, and Ugly (Week of September 3, 2002)
Kelly Clarkson, Swim Fan, and the 2002 World Basketball Championship in a triple threat review.
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Leviathan VHS Review
The contents of this review do not necessarily express the views of newmoanyeah as a whole. (Just kidding, Jay!)
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Suspiria DVD Review
Suspiria suspiciously bad, simply suspenseful, sadly systolic, or just plain craptacular?
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The Ring (Japanese Version)
Get the scoop on this Japanese horror flick that everyone and their grandmuthas want to remake.
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XXX Really Not Bad!
A belated review of Vin Diesel's summer hit, basically telling you what everyone else already has.
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Drunken Master 2 vs. Legend of Drunken Master
(World's greatest kung fu flick) + (Disney editing) = (Why would you do that to me?)
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