| Matt VanWinkle, Lemurish Staff Writer |
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Bio:
Raised by squirrels in the hills of Virginia, I currently reside in Boston, where I make a living by buying the letter "R" at a cut rate and then selling it in France at a huge mark-up. I am a four-time Legends of Backgammon Champion.
Heavy Rotation:
"Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard/ Are sweeter."
Favorite Flick:
The Empire Strikes Back
Celebrity Crush:
Nicole Kidman, now. Winona Ryder, for many years. Shoplifting I can overlook, Adam Sandler films I can't.
Junk Food of Choice:
Lime Tostito Chips dunked in Roasted Garlic Salsa.
Articles:
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Star Wars: Episode III Trailer 
A lemur's reaction to George Lucas, Hayden Christensen, lightsabers, and the Revenge of the Sith teaser.
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Everybody Wins with a Remake 
Oooooooh... the Lemur preened our fur and cames up with some juicy thoughts on movie remakes.
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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Can Charlie Kaufman's latest film keep The Lemur thoroughly thought-provoked? Or something like that?
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Rule of the One-word Movie Title
The Lemur is back with an insightful look at movies with one-world titles and their general crappiness.
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Big Fish
Get your rotten tomatoes ready... The Lemur liked Big Fish better than Lord of the Rings: Return of the King!
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2003 Staff Picks
Find out what floats the boats of Newmoanyeah staffers from the not-so-distant 2003.
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The Missing
The Lemur gnaws on Ron Howard's latest, The Missing. Editor Steve just wanted to use the word "gnaw".
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Gothika
The Lemur survives Halle Berry's dark and stormy pseudo-thriller like a guy who barely didn't get kicked off the island.
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How do You Use a Bidet? 
Was Paul Hogan not the only confused person during the hotel bathroom scene in Crocodile Dundee? Read on.
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On Not Being Able to Give Up the Red Sox
Poetic thoughts from a Red Sox fan who, like all others, can't figure out why Grady didn't pull Pedro.
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Red Sox Comic Book
Matt "The Lemur" VanWinkle reveals which Boston Red Sox player most closely resembles the planet-devouring Galactus!
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Underworld
An epic clan war between werewolves and vampires... can Lemurish Staffer Matt possibly survive?
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Swimming Pool
Heh heh heh... Matt finds All My Children enjoyable. *Snicker... guffaw!*
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Stephen King Everything's Eventual
Where much of the Newmoanyeah staff turns to fart-joke like humor, Matt goes the intellectual route.
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Hey Hey We're the Monkeypox
BAD prairie dog! Learn what the hell Monkeypox are and how to keep them the hell away from you.
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How to Better Spend 30 Dollars
As much as everyone complains about this, they all admit the commercials from 1978 were funny!
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Go Army
Matt theorizes as to why he's been receiving army recruitment stuff in the mail.
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Scotland, PA
Matt gets a taste of Macbeth reset in the 1970's fast food industry with surprisingly yummy results.
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Zelda Has Balls in Sling
Yes, this title could be interpretted many ways. See how it applies to a loyal reader.
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Waterworld and K. Costner
"Was Waterworld bad for my career?" may not be as much of a rhetorical question as you think.
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2003 Oscar Predictions
When Matt VanWinkle collides with the Academy Awards: Nostradamus meets a football wielding Lucy.
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Die, Yankees, Die!
A Mets fan and two Red Sox fans gather to debate who has a greater hatred of the New York Yankees.
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Worst of 2002
Last week, you got the staff's "Best of 2002" picks. This week, find out what we thought sucked.
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Soiled Yourself at Work?
There's that Disney Cruise flu bug going around and this advice entry is marginally related to it.
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Adaptation
After reading this movie review, you'll wish your mind worked a little more like Lemusish Staffer Matt's.
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2002 Staff Picks
The newmoanyeah staff picks their favorite albums, movies, and random things from 2002.
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Stranded VHS
Editor Steve loved Swamp Thing as much as Lemurish Matt's dad. Stranded must REALLY suck, though.
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Harry Potter and the Bible Thumpers
Innocent movie-goer is accosted by mob of angry people who think Harry Potter is Satan-incarnate, needs advice.
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Brotherhood of the Wolf VHS
So what if he doesn't have a DVD player? That doesn't lessen his rental movie reviewing prowess. Plbbbbbt!
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Spirited Away
Any review that states, "Chihiro must de-porkify her parents," is a good one. Mmmm... wrong sounding.
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The Art of Bandwagon
Major League Baseball playoff time. And you're a Red Sox fan. Here's some helpful advice to help you through the times.
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The Lost 24 Script
Newmoanyeah proudly presents a lost (and thus unused) script from the smash TV series, 24.
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Red Sox Players Narrowly Escape Disaster
More explanations from an alternate universe for why things go the way they do for the Boston Red Sox.
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Urbina Seeks Record
Explanations from an alternate universe for why things go the way they do for the Boston Red Sox.
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Reeves and Hopkins Haiku
Read this article. It has two poems in it. They are very funny.
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