MAIN     FEATURES     REVIEWS     ADVICE     PLUGS   |   SHOP     SUBSCRIBE

Features Archives Fawnia: Exotic Dancer, Fitness Model, and More   We plugged the lovely Fawnia late last year, but this time we're back with a full-fledged interview with the exotic dance instructor. Dumb Cheap Shots at the Dumb Cheap Shooter's Shots   Making fun of original stuff originally is just getting more and more difficult these days. Everybody Wins with a Remake   Oooooooh... the Lemur preened our fur and cames up with some juicy thoughts on movie remakes. Chinese Food Restaurant Name Generator   China Pearl. Golden City. Imperial Palace. Asian Garden. Great Chow. Far East Temple. Etc. Third Annual Free Comic Book Day (and I-Con 2004)   Free comics you say? July 4th weekend you say? Comic convention in Des Moines you say? Des Moines you say? Just Grint and Bear It   Ron Weasley is exactly Groovalicious Lisa's type: cute, British, and "youthful". Hellboy vs. Van Helsing   Nazi fighting demons? Monster hunting Aussies? Movie bashing writers? Oh yeah, all that! Butterfly Blog: The Soup Klutzy   Our gal Downunder manages to get Thai Green Curry soup all over her bathroom. Find out how... Peanut Marshbutter Brownies   While Editor Steve finds peanut butter absolutely abhorrent, the rest of you may enjoy Jennifer's recipe. Just Grint and Bear It   Ron Weasley is exactly Groovalicious Lisa's type: cute, British, and "youthful". Hellboy vs. Van Helsing   Nazi fighting demons? Monster hunting Aussies? Movie bashing writers? Oh yeah, all that! Butterfly Blog: The Soup Klutzy   Our gal Downunder manages to get Thai Green Curry soup all over her bathroom. Find out how... Peanut Marshbutter Brownies   While Editor Steve finds peanut butter absolutely abhorrent, the rest of you may enjoy Jennifer's recipe. Thank You, The-Remedy.org!   The Web is a wonderful place with wonderful people and wonderful things... including a faboo torrent of a live Mraz show! Groovalicious Filler Week   Oh Liiiisa, you came and you provided Newmoanyeah with ample content for a superb filler week... An Evening with Owsley   When I say, "An evening with Owsley" I am in no way implying "An evening with the creator of LSD". Different Owsley. Further Proof that Mraz is the Prophet   Groovalicious Editor Lisa is back for a quickie. Her Jason Mraz obsession has her seeing signs. News, Muse, and Adam Hughes Filler Week   What do the Kyocera se47, the band Muse, and comic book artist Adam Hughes have in common? Not that much really... Food Filler Week   What happens when geeks collide with food? Messy geeks... and food filler week. Rule of the One-word Movie Title   The Lemur is back with an insightful look at movies with one-world titles and their general crappiness. The Return of 80s Fashion   This "Return of 80s Fashion" article marks the triumphant debut of our Trixter-loving staffer Jill! Ten Things I Hate about D.A.M.N.I.T.   JapaNerd Johnathan wonders what celebrity babes you straight chicks would sleep with if a gun was pointed at your head. My Best Friend's Gonna Kill Me Yet Again   Another chance to embarass friend Mike. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but... Happy Week of the Lemur   Editor Steve called the doctor and the doctor said, "No more lemurs jumping on my head!" Happy Year of the Monkey   What does Newmoanyeah associate with Chinese New Year? The Lemur and Star Wars. Why? Just because. The Dungeon Master's Loony Bin   Our official DM (Dungeon Mouse) is here with a new series of tips to help freshen stale campaigns. New Linguine with Clam and Pancetta Sauce Yeah   Iron (more like Tin) Chef Steve is back with an old eye-balled recipe of his. Hope you like garlic. Lots of it. 2003 Staff Picks   Find out what floats the boats of Newmoanyeah staffers from the not-so-distant 2003. Butterfly Blog: Why My Body Went on Strike   Another "Best of Butterfly Blog" entry... this time our Aussie land lubber deals with her sea legs. Clay Aiken is My Mama's Boy   This is a heartwarming tale of staggering genius about a boy, a mother, and American Idol's Clay Aiken. Ho Ho Holiday Craziness 2003   This is a re-run week of content b/c we're too busy to do something new. Happy Holidays. Holiday Gift Suggestions for Guys   Need help picking a gift for that geeky guy of yours? The Newmoanyeah staff makes some suggestions. Holiday Gift Suggestions for Gals   The lovely ladies of Newmoanyeah tell you what you should buy your geek gals for the Holidays! 28 Songs from 2K3   Charlie's back and he ain't yappin' about no cans o' tuna. Here's a "Best tracks of 2003" article for your viewing pleasure. A Heartwarming Tale of Long Lost Acquaintances   Do you know Brian Doch? Are YOU Brian Doch? If you are, or if you know anyone at USC who might know him, read this. The Spirit of Christmas (Gift-Giving)   Our Christmas Mouse chimes in on how gift giving has changed over the years, kinda sorta maybe approximately. Famous Threesomes: A Commentary on Movie Trilogies   An article on trilogies so long that it could've been made into a trilogy of articles about trilogies. Good stuff! In Search of Female Geek Writer   Newmoanyeah is hiring and the pay is still ZERO. Female geek writers with a sense of humor apply within... Interview with Drew Curtis, FARKin' Genius   FARK.com may well be the single most visitable web site responsible for the greatest drop in work productivity. Early Crushes of a Male Geek   Editor Steve thinks back to when he was younger (yesterday) and thought Lynda Carter was really hot as Wonder Woman. Dogs n Cats: A Feast for Your Ears   An eight year old scratchy demo track about eating your domesticated animals is still shockingly funny. Thou Shalt Not Covet Another Game Console   Ben "Mouse" McShane, the new freelancer on the block, contributes this touchingly geeky confessional. Dear Kim: A Letter from the Work Trenches   DJ Timid, in a delusional state resulting from boredom at work, composes a Civil War-esque missive to a friend named Kim. Stephen Lin Wants Stephen Lin Dot Com   Enjoy a search engine/web geek experiment by Editor Steve. Yes, this is a filler article. Dumb Cheap Shots at Some Holidays, Briefly   And by some holidays, Manolo basically means Halloween. Read on for something funny about costumes. Butterfly Blog: Stupid Lori Tricks   Another fantabulous entry for Newmoanyeah's Best of Butterfly Blog series! Look ma, no keys! An Interview with Jim Lujan   Waiting in the bushes outside of animator Jim Lujan's abode paid off! Here's the interview Josh scored. Fantasy Baseball Results: JosAsian Sensation   This is what happens when you build a fantasy baseball roster entirely out of Asian guys and guys named Jose. Top Ten Witches   Comic Conventional Jennifer gets in the Halloween spirit by ranking famous witches. What... no Scarlet Witch?!?!? On Not Being Able to Give Up the Red Sox   Poetic thoughts from a Red Sox fan who, like all others, can't figure out why Grady didn't pull Pedro. Inexcusably Lame Plug Filler Week   The reason why there are nothing but plugs (heh heh, butt plugs) littering the front page of Newmoanyeah this week. Hip-Hop's Top Ten Innovators   DJ Timid recovers from tremendous neck and back pain with an in depth look at hip-hop's best. The Loner's Guide to Dining Out   Another bizarre contribution from Non-Unkranian Staffer Manolo... this time about putting things in his mouth. Geek Girl: The Death of Dating   Well, the results are in from the conclusion of the recent Geek Girl pseudo-dating saga. Fanboy Radio: Interviewing the Interviewer Part 3   The final installment of Joshy-Josh's interview with Studly-Scott of Fanboy Radio. Backstage Memories from the 2003 Emmy Awards   Josh was working the red carpet at this years Emmy's... and no, I don't mean schmoozing, I mean working. Monster House: Interview with Steve Watson   This exclusive interview covers everything from "rival" Trading Spaces to the Crocodile Hunter to Jenna Jameson! Fanboy Radio: Interviewing the Interviewer Part 2   The madness continues with the coolness that is Fanboy Radio. Don't forget to read part one from last week! A Conversation About Nothing with Justin   I estimate that I'll get another "You... Are... So... Dead" email 30 minutes after posting this. Fanboy Radio: Interviewing the Interviewer Part 1   Bathroom Obsessed Staffer Josh hunted down Fanboy Radio's mastermind Scott Hinze for an interview. Confessions of a Dungeon Master   Damn... someone sprayed Eau de Geek all over the Newmoanyeah offices! I love it! Quizzing Fanboy Radio   How on Earth was Watchmen not included in their discussion about best mini-serieses? Kitty Pryde & Wolverine? Dragon*Con 2004 Here We Come   Even after seeing photos, I can't imagine what it's really like at a Dragon*Con. Maybe I'll find out next year. A Tribute to Lemurish Staffer Matt...   ... on His 30th Birthday. Do real lemurs even live to the age of 30? I bet he'd be like 800 in lemur years! A Conversation about Sperm   And you think you get weird emails... look what ended up in my box one day. Rebel Pilot Steve by Troy's Bucket   ANNIVERSARY UPDATE: If this alone doesn't make you love Troy's Bucket, then you're a cold heartless bastard. Happy Birthday, Newmoanyeah!   Wow. Most marriages don't last this long! Drink Bacardi like it's our birthday. One whole year. Girl Fight Tonight   Quite possibly the strangest, most disturbing thing we've ever run. A little Photoshop is a lot dangerous. For Steve: Haiku, Limerick, Sonnet, oh my!   Wow and more wow. Thanks for the ultra kind poetic words! I'm gonna get a huge head. Steve Lin: Candidate for Cloning   If this article gets out, I'm sure it'll crush any hope of additional funding for stem cell research. Editor Steve for Fake Governor   Because of this article, I'll never ever be able to run for any REAL office. Oh well. Geek Girl on a Date, or is She?   Heather asks an awkward question... though not nearly as awkward as "Is it in yet?" Lisa's Mom Confirms the McLessons   If you read last week's McGriddle review, you may be wondering about the "ballet" lessons Lisa had at the local McDonald's. You Can Read It! A Real Excerpt from a Fake Book   Better than Hooked on Phonics! Better than sliced bread! Less real than the Smurfs! Interview with the Cosplayer: Alisa-chan   JapaNerd Johnathan had a chance to chat with cosplay goddess, Alisa-chan of www.alisachan.com. Timid Woos the Online Ladies   This is just damn funny. I'd be psyched if someone sent me a letter like this! A Geek Girl's Downtrodden Lament   Geek guys take note. Eligible bachelorette geek available. (Wait a couple of days for her to sober up.) While I Wasn't Looking, Hanson Got Hot   Forget the little boys that had you MMMBopping; the new Hanson is older, with way better clothes. Hellooooo Isaac! Butterfly Blog: The Man from "Down Under" Canada   Sex words are funny. This entertaining blog entry from the adventurous Ms. Shea proves it! You... Are... So... Dead   Angry Staff Writer Justin responds to the unexpected exploding head cartoon we ran last week. Game Over, D.A.M.N.I.T.   HULK SMASH PUNY Newmoanyeah staffers named Johnathan Mason! RRARRRGH!!! New Chili Recipe Yeah   Like steak? Like bacon? Like turkey? Love this chili! Why turkey? Just so there's another animal in there. Lowbacca in Harvard Square   Editor Steve's original Star Wars Expanded Universe art collection grows with this fabulous contribution from Manolo! A Cartoon Starring Justin   I haven't seen this 'toon in over three years. Who knows where a Newmoanyeah staffer's been keeping it stashed! When Harry Met D.A.M.N.I.T.   Johnathan Mason is a clever man who is admittedly a Harry Potter virgin, damn it. Damn damn damn damn. Y Tu Hermione Tambien   A sexy new director could spice things up a bit for the upcoming Harry Potter film. "It's all in good fun..." Is the Title 'Wild About Harry' Overused Yet?   Lori has an obsession that makes the Dave Navarro thing from a couple of weeks ago look downright wholesome and normal. Wizard Lovin': Magic or Mayhem in the Bedroom?   Tricks is definitely not for kids. Harry Potter characters' potentially strange sex habits. Friday Night: Potter Pre-Game   What? No tailgating for the release of Order of the Phoenix? WHAT? No strippers? If Hermione Were Older...   The witch who ought to be every brainy-geek-nerd's dream girl! The witch who ought to be every brainy-geek-nerd's dream girl! WildGuard: Interview with Todd Nauck   Todd Nauck talks to us about his new creator-owned American Idol-esque superhero comic WildGuard. Rock Stars Who I Wish Weren't Dead   There are rock stars. Some have problems. Problems cause them to die. This is what it sounds like, when doves cry. Dumb Cheap Shots at White Babies   "All in the name of humor." Please repeat that mantra if you find yourself offended. Things I Hate and Things I Don't Hate   While DJ Timid may come off as mean, ignorant, and close-minded in this article, it's actually still pretty funny! Butterfly Blog: Lori Croft in RoomRaider   A new series of diary-like entries... this time from pseudo-Aussie-babe Lori! She hates spiders. Newmoanyeah.com Does TheCliffGuy.com   Well, it's more like "Manolo does the cliff guy," but that ain't exactly right either... Dave Navarro Has Ruined Me   If only Dave Navarro had entered the "Win a Date with Groovalicious Editor Lisa" contest... Sucked in... I've Caught Newmoanyeah   Woo hoo! NKOTB! We've heard plenty out of Lisa re: the dating scene. Now the guy's perspective! Mysterious Sign Spurs Pondering   Uh, I graduated from the school of even more longerest free range beefalo. Huh? Star Wars Kid Video   You know Editor Steve is a bigtime Star Wars geek. As such, he thinks this kid is just having some wholesome fun! Littlebiggirl Diary - January 23, 1987   We've milked and milked, and alas, the cow is DRY! The last ever Littlebiggirl Diary entry. Sigh... The Island of Doctor Ed   Few people will understand this. And even fewer will find it funny. This is the result of an inside joke gone awry. Interview with Theater Hopper   Comic Conventional Jennifer sat down with the mastermind behind Theater Hopper. (And his wife, too!) Chocolate Crinkles Cookie Recipe   This is the greatest cookie recipe in the entire galaxy and the expanded universe. Editor Steve's favorite! Farewell Buffy Week   A week of Buffy the Vampire Slayer coverage, including staff reactions to the series finale. Superstar: Ode to Jonathan   The nerdy kid in the background that became a member of the Three Nemesisesesesesssss... Angel on the Horizon   Looking on the bright side, we still have Angel. New formula with more Spike! How to Better Spend 30 Dollars   As much as everyone complains about this, they all admit the commercials from 1978 were funny! Will They Strike Out or Hit a Home Run?   While the contest may technically continue to run until whenever, find out who Lisa picked in the meanwhile. Lisa's Hunk Hunt Begins   The "Win a Date with Groovalicious Editor Lisa" contest is still going! Read on for the latest update! Go Army   Matt theorizes as to why he's been receiving army recruitment stuff in the mail. On a Very Special D.A.M.N.I.T...   It's absolutely appalling that there are people too ignorant to be embarassed about demanding a segregated prom. More About Lisa with Whom You Can Win a Date   (Editor Lisa) + (Contest) = (annoying email forward containing oodles of info about said editor). Win a Date with Groovalicious Editor Lisa   C'mon, I know you can do better than those other guys Lisa met online. Win a date with a Newmoanyeah editor! New Makeover... Yeah   A classic story of before and happily ever after that will touch your hearts for at least 15 seconds. Return of the Wookiee   Peter Mayhew will be returning as the mighty Wookiee, Chewbacca in Star Wars Episode III. Interview with Artplaymix   Get to know ultra-talented artists Jason Martin and Heather McCollum! The Unborn Debut: Tips for Our Fetal Readers   Never let it be said that Manolo and Johnathan are two of the less imaginative Newmoanyeah-ers. Jennifer Shops Online   Looking for something neat to spend your hard earned money on? Read on for Jennifer's fun suggestions! Troy's Bucket Guest Comic   Editor Steve contributes a guest strip to the ultra-kick ass web gaming comic, Troy's Bucket! Nowhere Near Baghdad   A belatedly posted, yet still humorous political cartoon from Newmoanyeah reader Robert. Slightly Shorter Like Me   Experience the fast-paced world of being "slightly taller" by wearing TWO pairs of socks! My Best Friend's Gonna Kill Me Again   Because you demanded it: more pics of Mike as Fatman! Now with more, err... Fat Robin! Jennifer Rants   Why does a peach and mango flavored drink only have apple juice in it? And why is the great white misrepresented, so? My Best Friend's Gonna Kill Me   Oh man... this should be good. How long before I receive a screaming phone call from D.C.? Littlebiggirl Diary - December 20, 1986   WOW. Longest most boy-craziest Littlebiggirl diary entry yet. And sadly, second to last entry ever! Chicks with Guns: A Genre   By far, the least sadistic of the the Sadistic Assigned Review series, so far. The New Art of Protest   Bringing you the latest and greatest in creative protesting since 2002. (That doesn't sound very impressive, does it?) Littlebiggirl Diary - December 12, 1986   Robbie or Jeremy? Who won Janet's affections back in 1986? And did a Santa Gram save the day? American Idol: A Frenchie Davis Account   Get the inside scoop on Frenchie Davis direct from an American Idol contestant's older brother! Littlebiggirl Diary - November ?, 1986   Girl... you'll be a woman... soon. (When it's time to change, it's time to rearrange...) Sad Day in the Neighborhood   A sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad day indeed. Post-Apocalypse Now, D.A.M.N.I.T.   Any prospect of the world ending up like Waterworld or The Postman should dissuade all war-like tendencies. Littlebiggirl Diary - July 13, 1986   As a child, Janet feared California earthquakes. As an adult, Janet fears California unemployment. Do-It-Yourself Porn   Ever wanted to take naughty pictures of yourself? Check out this helpful tutorial! Quick Guide to Stalking   This article contains a section on "Stalking Tools," not to be confused with "Talking Stools." 2003 Oscar Predictions   When Matt VanWinkle collides with the Academy Awards: Nostradamus meets a football wielding Lucy. Confessions of a Closet Trekkie   Why do I anticipate a deluge of emails flooding into Groovalicious Editor Lisa's mailbox from Trekkies after this? Die, Yankees, Die!   A Mets fan and two Red Sox fans gather to debate who has a greater hatred of the New York Yankees. On the Road to Insanity   Ixnay on the alktay about the aightstray acketjay! We really need to get Kerri back on the meds. New Guacamole Recipe Yeah   @#$% Taco Bell and their guacamole-less nachos! Chef Steve gives you his ancient Chinese recipe! My Husband is George Lucas' Bitch   I really see no problems with Missie's husband. I've heard that Star Wars fetishes reduce your chances of heart disease. The Road to the Mega Bowl   Are you ready for the football? Me an all my rowdy Newmoanyeah staffers sumpin' sumpin' sumpin'... Music Response: 2002   A lengthy but extremely worthwhile recap of 2002's best music from our reader and friend Michael Richards. Uncle Sam Wants You... to Take His Money!   Think you've paid too much for a CD? So does the government. Justin tells you how to get some free money. Worst of 2002   Last week, you got the staff's "Best of 2002" picks. This week, find out what we thought sucked. 2002 Staff Picks   The newmoanyeah staff picks their favorite albums, movies, and random things from 2002. Littlebiggirl Diary - December 29, 1985   Kooooooky. Someone gave Janet $1.50 for Christmas back in 1985. Rock. And. Roll. The X-Mas Tree Ate My Homework   Editor Steve arbitrarily picks eight "classic" articles to feature at the end of 2002.