The New Hotness
Given Cartoon Network's more kinetic past selections of delicacies from the land of the rising sun, it's rather surprising that they'd go with Witch Hunter Robin. Due to premiere on Adult Swim on February 16th, WHR centers on a young pyrokinetic psychic trained by yet another secret organization, sent to its Japanese branch to deal with an outbreak of her own kind. There, she joins an elite unit equipped with Orbo (a magic-negating substance that looks suspiciously like antifreeze) to hunt down the rogue voodoo people. True, most of their spellcasting suspects are guys, but Warlock Hunter doesn't have the same ring to it.

Pyro Techniques

Robin's Angels.

At times, the story's progression is almost glacier-like, with an emphasis of drama & mystery over action that may leave the majority of viewers feeling blueballed from the cocktease of the show's stylish visuals.The distinctive design of our Dirty Harriet Potter and her surroundings are gorgeously Matrix gothic, but rendered in muted tones emblematic of the detached nature in which the series treats the majority of its cast.

The Worst Witch

"I'm your firestarter, twisted firestarter..."

An endearing subplot concerning Robin's problem with aiming her power gives the protagonist some personality; but this isn't shared among most of her co-workers, who lean more toward Mulder/Scully-style expressionless muttering in this X-Files meets the Craft animated fanfic. This might have been tolerable were the rest of the cast to gradually open up, but this coven of introverts remains static for the most part despite their escapades together.

All Hollow Eve

How about a little fire, Scarecrow?

While by no means the worst Japanese export, WHR is neither memorable enough to be commendable nor condemnable. The smouldering embers of its core premise never rise to a high heat. To paraphrase a dead woman who told Ted that he wasn't the One yet because he had to rescue Cowboy Curtis from Elrond, it feels like the series is holding out on its audience from its full potential. Until it delivers, it's best left to those who shop at Hot Topic for identity, not irony: Witch Hunter Robin hovers between heaven and hell in a purgatory of mediocrity as a disappointing triumph of style over substance.

Behold, ye otaku, and tremble before the anime equivalent of Underworld.