This sandwich is composed of scabby-looking meat with little red specks on top of fluffy scrambled eggs and melted cheese. Using bagels as its bun, this sandwich is served as breakfast in the morning, except I ate mine cold as a late lunch.

Steak and Egg Bagel Sandwich #1: Cold
Whose idea was it to sell a steak and eggs bagel sandwich at a McDonald's? And whose idea was it to shove it in my mouth? It was like eating a Payless shoe wrapped in a loofa. Damn you, hands--I shake my fist at you.

The McDonald's webpage boasts a golden brown bagel. It was more pasty goth white than golden brown. It also said that antioxidants were added to protect the flavor. It didn't do its job because the flavor died. Actually the first thing I thought when I bit into the sandwich was that it needed more antioxidants and that maybe it wouldn't have been a problem if they provided antioxidant packs in the condiment trays. But maybe this is just because the sandwich was eaten cold.

Steak and Egg Bagel Sandwich #2: Microwaved
Pulling a second steak and egg bagel sandwich out of the refrigerator (two were purchased that day), I sprinkled the dry rock-like material with water and cooked it in the microwave. There's that thing they say about brains readjusting after processing a new experience, so that it is better prepared for the next time the unique stimulation occurs. By the first bite of that sandwich, my brain--two steps ahead of my mouth--told my digestive system to throw the most obnoxious frat party ever. It knew! Like that co-worker who knows he's going to be fired, it packed up and left the building!

In the bathroom, I pulled the kind of faces people only do when they're in space without a helmet. Not to sound disgusting, but this time it was like eating a Payless shoe wrapped in a loofa that someone sat on throughout a business meeting. This is good if that's your sort of thing, and therefore Highly Recommended.