Is your D&D Campaign growing stale? Sick and tired of hordes of orcs, necromancers, hordes of orcs, dragons, hordes of orcs, drow and bands of orcs? If your campaign is in serious need of new life (and a little bit it of fun), the Dungeon Master's Loony Bin just may be your solution. This week's category? Halflings!

Skill
Halfling Pole-Fishing (Dex)
Description: Halflings are notoriously wary of water, but they do enjoy the taste of delicious fish. Perhaps with the aid of gnomish neighbors, many halfling cultures have devised a number of ways to obtain fish without nearing the water. Halfling pole fishing is the least disastrous of them all.

A halfling pole fisher uses a flimsy, 20-foot long pole to poke at the water until she skewers a fish. The halfling places a Halfling Fish Bucket 20 feet to her left or right. When she catches a fish, she swings the pole around and dumps the fish in the bucket.

Halfling pole fishing equipment costs a hefty 5 gp.

Check: Use the chart bellow to determine Halfling pole fishing success.

Retry: A halfling pole fisher may try as many times as he likes with no penalty to the skill check. However, the fisherman suffers a -5 check if they continue to fish for longer than two hours without dozing off in the shade for at least ten minutes.

Special: A Halfling pole fisher with 5 or more ranks in the skill may use his halfling pole-fishing fishing pole as a weapon, although this may not be the most practical of options. (See weapon stats below.)

DC	Result
2 or below	Fisherman catches a dire shark.
7 or below	The Halfling pole-fishing fishing pole snaps in two and may not be repaired.
15	No fish are caught (though perhaps the halfling finds a boot or abandoned child).
20	The fisherman skewers one fish appropriate to the environment. One fish serves one person.
25	The fisherman skewers two fish in one strike!
60	The fisherman skewers an entire school of fish, thereby drastically altering the ecosystem of the river, stream, lake or ocean for 1d12 miles.

Weapon
Halfling Pole-Fishing Fishing Pole
Mostly used by halflings to fish without approaching the water, some peasant halflings have used the halfling pole-fishing fishing pole as a weapon. It is a slender, flimsy piece of wood extending 20 feet long. It has a sharpened wooden point that may be tipped with poison. Because of its enormous size, a character wielding the halfling pole-fishing fishing pole may only attack one every three rounds.

The Halfling Pole-Fishing Fishing Pole is an exotic ranged weapon. It may be taken as a weapon proficiency slot or used by Halflings with 5 ranks in the "Halfling Pole-Fishing" skill. The cost of the weapon includes a fish bucket.

Weapon	Cost	Damage	Critical	Range Increment	Weight	Type
H'ling Fish Pole	5gp	1d6	X2	20 ft.	5 lbs.	Pierce

Spell
Disrupt Halfling
Necromancy, Transmutation
Level: Sor/Wiz 5
Components: V, S, M (Halfling pipeweed)
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels
Effect: Ray
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throws: None
Spell Resistance: Yes

This spell is kind of like "Disrupt Undead", but for puny little halflings. You create a shock wave of energy that causes the target halfling's flesh slough off his body, dealing 2d12 damage. The target halfling must have at least half-like alignment as the caster. (CE and CG, or LG and CG, for example.)

Magic Item
Loaf of Halfling Disruption
This rather dangerous item appears to be an every-day loaf of pumpkin bread with an added aroma of Halfling pipeweed that all halflings will find irresistible. Other than its special scent, the loaf is indiscernible from common halfling baked goods.

Any halfling that comes within 50 feet of the loaf smells its irresistible aroma and must make a Will save. If she fails the save, the halfling is compelled to consume a piece of the bread. Four hours following consumption of the loaf, the halfling behaves as though a disrupt halfling spell has been cast on her, with no chance for spell resistance.

The Loaf of halfling disruption requires flour, eggs, yeast, pumpkin flesh, and halfling pipeweed to bake. It serves 12.

Caster level: 6th; Prerequisites: Cooking, Craft Wondrous Item, disrupt halfling. Market Price: 7,000 gp