If only there were more Blonde Gotholic Cheerleaders like this!

[REDUNDANT WARNING! The advice seen here is for entertainment purposes only! Newmoanyeah will not be held liable for anything. Got it? Good.]

Dear Newmoanyeah:

I've got a crush on a cheerleader, but I'm basically the freaky (nerdy) goth kid at my high school. She's this gorgeous Catholic blonde and I've got jet black hair and a nose ring. Is there anything I can do to make her love me? Oh yeah, I'm a freshman and she's a junior.

Thanks,
Justin Timbergoth

[SPECIAL! This week, instead of the typical Newmoanyeah staff responses, the advice question will be answered by Stacy Jones & Jamie Arentzen of American Hi-Fi!]

Stacy:		Lose the trench coat. Get rid of the trench coat because you know you got one.
Jamie		Definitely bring over your Morrissey record.
Stacy:		Yeah, put some Smiths on the radio. Take off those big giant boots you're wearing. Go buy a Polo shirt and some khaki chinos.
Jamie		Nice.
Stacy:		What are those shoes...boat shoes?
Jamie		I think we're going too far. How about jeans and a t-shirt?
Stacy:		Yeah. Put on jeans and a t-shirt, but lose the eyeliner and lose the trench coat.
Jamie		I like the story where the girl is into him anyway. Don't change.
Stacy:		Yeah, always be yourself-that's my motto.