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Dear Newmoanyeah:

Ok, in D&D I gotta a monk who jus got turned into a neutral character wut should i do?

Thanx,
Monky Monk (sans Monky Bunch)

Posthumorous Staff Writer Justin Montanino	Jaded Midwestern Staff Writer Ben "Mouse" McShane
Dear D&D nerd: The monk tradition dates back thousands of years, steeped partially in the promotion of literacy. Maybe nerd, you weren't ready to assume such a demanding role? The world needs neutral guys,the guys who wear plain Gap jeans and use expressions like "bro." So don't underestimate the value of your new position. Neutral guys the world over provide valuable carbon dioxide to trees. And without neutrals like yourself, monks wouldn't seem like the religious zealots they are, because there would be no one to be more zealoty than. So bask in your new position. And may I also suggest picking up the book How to Succeed with Women by Ron Louis and David Copeland. You'll thank me.	A monk? Shame on you for playing a monk, munchkin. What the hell are fighting monks doing in Dungeons and Dragons anyways? Go play some Feng Shui. (p.s. - Assuming this is third edition D&D... because you lost your alignment, you may no longer take any levels in monk. Just level up in other classes; you'll keep your monk-ish abilities. Since you're a munchkin, I recommend taking levels in sorcerer and barbarian.)
Smoof Like Butta(fly) Staff Writer Lori Shea	Scattagoric Staff Writer Missie Horal
Turn off your computer immediately. Go outside. Breathe. Smack yourself. Forget all about neutral monks. Go to the bookstore and buy all the Harry Potters and get addicted to those instead. (That way you'll at least have something interesting to talk about with real life people, should you ever choose to speak to one.) Good luck!	You’re neutral: Do absolutely nothing. And wear beige.