Bracing Myself for Ridicule
I'm going to lose ALL of my street cred by writing the following words: Bloodsport II: The Next Kumite is shockingly good. I'll elaborate on that more in a moment, but I figure I'll take care of some of the initial confusion some of you must be feeling.

You are probably confused because you didn't realize that Bloodsport had a sequel. Well, there is... rather, there ARE. Not only is there Bloodsport II: The Next Kumite, there's also Bloodsport III (no subheading) and Bloodsport IV: The Dark Kumite. For sanity's sake, I'll go ahead and tell you that the third and fourth installments are total and complete crap and shouldn't be allowed into your home for fear of retribution from angry spirits. And that's saying a lot coming from the guy who's seen (and enjoyed in some way) all three Beastmasters.

Back to Bloodsport II
As much as you want/are able to bemoan Jean Claude Van Damme for just about anything and everything he does, the original Bloodsport is still a classic fight-flick. Who gives a damn about the plot or acting? All you really care about are the fights involving martial arts stylists from a pile of different disciplines. Bloodsport II gives you the exact same type of well-filmed joyful violence.

Well, almost. The one major difference is that Vam Damme is replaced by Daniel Bernhardt doing a impressively accurate Vam Damme impression, which makes it incredibly bad. But, then again, it could be Bernhardt just being Bernhardt for all I know, as I've never seen him in anything but Bloodsport films. I find it difficult to believe that two similar-looking martial artists could both speak with the same over-heavy French accent. The one carry-over you do get from the first film is that huge ugly dude who played Booger in Revenge of the Nerds. And if it makes you feel any better, Pat Morita's in the film, too. (I'm not sure why, but it made me feel better.)

Does any of this info matter?
Quite frankly, none of this matters. The plot and acting are probably worse than the first Bloodsport. However, the action sequences at the Kumite fight-tournament are all top notch. Seriously, if you're an action or kung fu fan, you should at least rent this movie. Be warned, though, that you could probably OWN this DVD for less than $5.00.

Keep an eye out for the African-American kung fu guy named Cliff. He's totally one of the coolest side characters in a b-grade action flick EVER! Also keep an eye out for the one capoeira stylist. He'll be the guy in the white baggy pants, dancing around, kicking the turd out of some other random guy. And again, for a movie like this, who cares about silly details like names?