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Barbie Goes Wicca
by Jennifer Saylor, Comic Conventional Staff Writer
November 3, 2003 + Des Moines, IA

So, the famous Barbie's come to Hogwarts...
Kayla... Barbie's witch friend.Mattel decided that they were losing out on revenue they could make from the Barbie line of toys. Did they think there was a market of children whose religious beliefs were being left out and they needed to fill that void? More likely they were looking at the sales figures for the Harry Potter toy line and tried to figure out what could they do to tap that market. You could get a Hermione doll, but wouldn't you rather have s Barbie? Better yet you can pretend this doll is Hermione when she's grown up!

The practice of magic is a touchy subject. But Barbie is no stranger to controversy. Rremember the talking Barbie who said "Math is hard" or the recent Midge doll that is pregnant and gives birth? That said, Mattel wanted to create a toy that kids would want and at the same time not have a bunch of meddling bible-thumping freaks on their doorstep. So, they came up with Secret Spells line of dolls.

Where is the pointy hat and black clothes?
Mattel made Halloween Barbies in the past, where she is dressed up as a witch (not to mention Barbie as Samantha Steven's from Bewitched), but never a Barbie that actually practiced magic. Plus to keep those PTA moms at bay, Mattel couldn't have Barbie doing anything bad or unbecoming of her "moral fiber," so they dressed her and two of her pals in pretty green, purple and Barbie-pink, to make they girl-friendly toys. No pointed hats, brooms, or black cats for them.

On the back of the box they make their case "legitimate" by saying they practice white magic. They make potions in little pretty bottles; they even give you a set so you can make your own potions. And a stirring stick that doubles as a "wand" and a glass that is her cauldron.

Ordinary school girl by day... Secret Spell girl by night.
There are three dolls in the set (Barbie, Kayla and Christie) making them into a coven. So, not only do they practice magic, but also they gather in groups to perform "rituals". I see a Barbie cult brewing! Soon, they will be running around in Goth clothing, pretending they're the girls from The Craft.

I couldn't bring myself to buy the obnoxious pink Barbie, but I did get her friend Kayla. Kayla's ethnic background has changed several times. Right now, I call her the "Willow" of the group. She has green eyes and red hair so she must be one of those Irish witches.

I did take her out of the box, she's pretty much your typical Barbie. She comes with her supplies to make her potions and some bottles and a trick schoolbook to store them in. Since they don't get to have traditional witch pets she comes with a butterfly - LAME! And on the back of the box you get the nutritional values of the potion drinks (10 calories). Gee, I hope kids don't get a sugar rush with these things.

I wonder how this peach powder drink mix will taste with some Rum???

A witch to be reckoned with?
So if you want to buy a cool Barbie for Halloween, Winter Solstice, or any occasion, the Secret Spells sure are better than getting a boring Cheerleader Barbie or one of the other dull dolls they make. And if you know any Wicca members, they will probably enjoy them. Barbie has been a role model for just about everything, so why can't she practice any religion she chooses!

Now if they would only start making Barbie for other lifestyles, like Single Mom Barbie, Goth Chick Barbie, or Computer Nerd Barbie. dagoddess.com had some good ideas for other Religious Barbie dolls. The list goes on and on... my favorite Barbie being the one that was made as a piece of art: Suicide Bomber Barbie.

Who would you most like to see as the lead in Joss Whedon's Wonder Woman movie?
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Eliza Dushku
Sandra Bullock
Aria Giovanni
Summer Glau
Eva Longoria
Evangeline Lilly
Lynda Carter
 
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Newmoanyeah.com is run by Stephen Lin, dotcom crash survivor, pop-culture connoisseur, and self-admitted geek with a penchant for kung fu and computers. The unofficial mission statement of Newmoanyeah is to make geekiness hip and to entertain geeks of all natures with humorous features, reviews, advice columns, plugs, and polls. To accomplish this goal, Stephen sought out friends, friends of friends, Web acquaintences, and former co-workers and assembled an all-star roster of writers with interests in music, movies, television, games, comic books, fashion, relationships, food, the completely random, and last, but certainly not least, sex. Check out our site map if you need help. Feel free to contact us with any questions. Aspiring writers please read our employment page. The Web site is designed and maintained by Boston's Silinx Studios, also run by Stephen Lin.
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