Delinquency a la Editor Steve
When Editor Steve sent out the list of goods that Doc Johnson sent to him for review, I looked them over with my boyfriend to decide which one we wanted to claim. After scanning the products, we decided that we would try the Doc Johnson Good Head Mint Oral Delight Gel.

We picked up our Oral Delight Gel one evening when we met Steve and some others at a local bar. Steve handed me the package inconspicuously, wrapped in a plastic grocery bag, but several people at the table knew what was in the package and made me pass it around for all to see. Luckily it was dark in the bar, so no one could see me blush a just a little.

History of the B.J.
Everyone got a good chuckle from the box and the free copy of the history of the blow job included inside... did I mention free? Seriously, would the history of the blow job really make some undecided consumer throw caution to the wind and purchase the gel because he just needed to know that "Puritans believed that even married couples engaging in fellatio were committing a sin"?

The consensus at the table was the history of the blow job was pretty boring, although it lead some people to wonder "just how does one become a sexologist?"

No time like the present
Not surprisingly, it was that evening that my boyfriend decided we'd better try out the goods. After all, Newmoanyeah needed its review.

So we opened up the box and found the tube of minty fresh gel. It looked like a tube of Aquafresh... and smelled a bit like it as well. The color and texture were quite different, however. The gel was bright green and the texture reminded me of that goopy sugary candy gel that I didn't even like when I was a kid.

Insert dowel A into slot B.
After the initial observation, we wondered just how to use the stuff. We scanned the package for directions with no luck. In fact, the only semblence of a direction is near the end of the history of the blow job where it says "when placed on the tongue, the mint mixture leads to fellatio of incomparable heights."

Since the gel was supposed to be placed on my tongue, I took about a teaspoon in my mouth and spread it around to coat my entire tongue.

"I used to do a little, but a little wouldn't do it so the little got more and more."
It seemed, though, that a teaspoon was too much. I felt like there was a big, blob of snot in my mouth. It was minty flavored, but the idea of flavor of snot in my mouth was enough to excuse myself to spit before I even came in contact with the result of good head.

After my trip to the sink, I could still taste the mint on my tongue, so I hoped it would be enough for my boyfriend to feel a difference between normal fellatio and the "fellatio of incomparable heights" we were promised on the box.

And down I went. I used my usual moves of licking and sucking. Between licks and sucks I would look up to see if my boyfriend looked like he was experiencing "fellatio of incomparable heights". He was decidedly not.

Close that door or you'll let the cold in!
He said that it felt like I was taking his penis in and out of a freezer each time my mouth would move up and down. The mint obviously messed with his sense of temperature. And he didn't seem to like my moves as much as when there is no Oral Delight Gel involved. He thought the change in temperature was a little weird and decided that we probably wouldn't need to try this again.

That could mean one of two things: a) I give "fellatio of incomparable heights" on a regular basis without the help of Doc Johnson, or b) Doc Johnson's Mint Oral Delight Gel is little more than a novelty that may bring a little fun into the bedroom, but will not change the history of the blow job.

Or perhaps it means both.