Misnomer
If I had a dime for every Hong Kong film whose name didn't entirely make sense, I'd be a bijillionaire several times over. Satan Returns might more accurately be titled Satan's Daughter Returns Though It's Never Made Apparent Just When She Was Around the First Time... At Least She's Hot.

Were the title the least of the film's issues, Satan Returns would be a lot better off. Gigantic warts and all, the movie is relatively entertaining; however, it is NOT entertaining because of Chingmy Yau's splendoriferous dramatic performance nor is it because of Donnie Yen's gravity defying martial prowess. Instead, the entertainment comes from bad horror movie cliches and quirky Asian humor.

Why you should check it out...
For the sake of speeding things along, I'm going to give you the good in bulleted fashion:

• Chingmy Yau, the hottie with the bangin' body from City Hunter, Naked Killer, and New Legend of Shaolin and Donnie Yen the kung fu stud from Blade 2, Iron Monkey, and Hero; while this is definitely not their best work, it is one of their more obscure pieces of work. If you're a fan of either, it's worth seeing b/c I wouldn't be surprised if this gets harder to find.

• Exorcisms, zombie cops, talking cadavers, bodiless beating hearts, random violence,

• Cliches galore! This film actually steals the famous "Get out of the there, the call is coming from INSIDE the house!" gimmick (among dozens of others).

Why you shouldn't check it out...
Still going the bulleted list route:

• Donnie was somewhat under-utilized: not a whole lot of kung fu action.

• Chingmy was somewhat under-utilized: not a whole lot of skin showing.

• Holes in the plot? Dude, you're implying that there's even a plot to begin with.

All in all, you're either the type that can like a bad movie for it's bad points, or you're someone who actually likes good movies. Satan Returns is NOT a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, but again, this doesn't make it unenjoyable.

On the web: Satan Returns DVD at Poker Industries