Marvel's All-Time Low
This is really scary. Just by logging on to Marvel.com, you can hire people to come to an anniversary, bachelor party, bar mitzvah, gas station grand opening, or any other event as the superhero of your choice. Think it sounds like a rousing good time? Well just looking at the pictures is enough to give me nightmares.

Unbelievably, Marvel even promotes this on their site; I hope I never run into one of these people, as I've seen better costumes at a comic con for pete's sake. (Which is probably why I've never seen these folks at a con.) I can just see "Daredevil" getting beat up by gangs of teenage boys for looking like such a dork.

How Do These People Get These Jobs?
You can tell it's the same chick dressed up as Rogue, Jean Grey and Psylocke. She looks so happy to have this job, maybe she should get a job giving people their driver's licenses at the DOT. None of these women have any breasts either! Why would any geeky, horny fanboy want to see them? She's skinny, I'll give her that, but not quite what you see on TV, in film or in print. I'm just glad they didn't have a Kitty Pryde, or it might have shattered our true believer, Editor Steve.

The guys aren't going to win any prizes either and Mr. Fantastic looks more like Mr. Lametastic. Is it just me or does he look a little bit like Dave Barry? At least he doesn't have a beer belly hanging out. Once upon a time, Jonathan Frakes was Captain America, so maybe one of these poor, out-of-work actors will get a real acting gig someday. There's always hope.

They may think they're doing us all a super-service, but Marvel deserves to be mocked for having such pathetic people promote their comics.