A Rude Awakening
OK. So here I am, half-awake, reading my e-mail while my morning dose of caffeine slowly works its way into my system when I come across the following message:

"I think you'd produce something funny if you reviewed this 'Chicks with Guns' gallery (make sure you see all three galleries)."

"Do you know if you'll have your sadistic genre review done by Sunday?"

Chicks with Guns. Why?
This was the question that first sprung to mind, even before viewing the sites in question. Granted, the internet indulges virtually every fantasy anyone can think up. If you want to view "girls with hairy legs", Google will return 223,000 web pages for your entertainment. While this pales in comparison to "girls with guns" (which returns 710,000) it certainly has a higher fan base than say, "girls with big noses" (a paltry 79,200). So while there is no question that an audience exists for these sites, what is it that draws them in?

1. The Bond Girl Factor:
   Think Domino, think Pussy Galore, think Christmas Jones (just kidding - Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist is quite possibly the both the most ludicrous and lucrative casting move ever made in a major motion picture). Actually, Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp in Goldeneye trumps them all. IMHO, the best bond women aren't the ones crying "Jammmes", they're the ones either helping him or kicking his ass. Mmmm... Janssen.

2. The Peanut Butter Cup Factor:
   It's chicks! It's guns! It's chicks with guns! Two great tastes that taste great together! You get two audiences for the price of one. Some people look at the chicks, some people look at the guns. No, really.

3. Jay, you're reviewing girlie pictures. You don't have to rationalize this:
   Oh, right.

The Sites
www.newsfilter.org/sex/gunchicks1.htm
This was actually a pretty enjoyable gallery of reasonably attractive women with their weapon of choice. While many of the pictures were your run of the mill chick-in-a-bikini-with-a-semiautomatic photo, some of them actually showed women who simply looked like they were simply having a great time with their weapon of semi-mass destruction. For example, this lovely lady isn't here to titillate - she's just having a blast (literally) defending her backyard from a pack of rabid squirrels.

Likewise, some photos show upstanding, suburban women proudly defending their cocktail parties from surly solicitors. All in all, a fun selection of gun-toting chicks.

www.gunchicks.com
Gunchicks.com, on the other hand, is a website with a (more political) purpose. Let's take a look a their mission statement:

Gunchicks.com carries the pro gun message to people and even nations where that message would not otherwise be heard in the hopes that armed citizens everywhere will save lives, thwart crime and preserve peace. We encourage females to own firearms for self-defense and or recreational purposes. It is our goal to provide free, online photo galleries of beautiful women with 100% real firearms for the web surfing world to enjoy.

Raven is holding an American battle rifle in .223 caliber (5.56mm NATO). This weapon is not very good inside your house because of the tight quarters usually found indoors. However, it is perfect for warding off an entire gang of robbers, looters and rioters if you should ever find yourself in such a situation. Looting and rioting does happen from time to time and if you want to keep such rowdy types out of your house, a .223 caliber battle rifle is the way to go.

www.guns-n-babes.com/babesamp.tpl
Guns-n-babes is a more utilitarian website having not only the usual gallery of women but also a complete gun database as well (see sample on the left) that contains info on 462 types of guns. Sadly, it only has a few thumbnails of the chicks holding them and requires you to pay 10 bucks if you want to see more.

The gun database, however, is free.

Conclusions

1. Chicks are good.
2. Chicks with guns are better.
3. Steve is evil.

Mission accomplished. Now, where's my Starbucks?