It all began like this...

nmyStephen:		Am I gonna have to bust another sadistic assignment on you? [see WWE article]
nmyJanet:		I could do a crotchless panty review.
nmyStephen:		oooOOOoooooo... I'll take a crotchless panty review!
nmyJanet:		oh boy.
nmyJanet:		okie doke
nmyStephen:		Do you own them already?
nmyJanet:		yep.
nmyJanet:		um...
nmyStephen:		what?
nmyJanet:		I just admitted to owning crotchless panties.
nmyStephen:		that's awesome! that's my Janet!
nmyStephen:		and soon... the entire newmoanyeah-reading world will know!!!
nmyStephen:		mwwaaahh hahahah!!!

Continued like this...

nmyStephen:

crotchless panties cha cha cha crotchless panties cha cha cha crotchless panties cha cha cha crotchless panties cha cha cha crotchless panties cha cha cha crotchless panties cha cha cha

And ended like this...

nmyStephen:		wearin' yer undies?
nmyJanet:		no. er...you know I don't think I can do this review this week
nmyStephen:		do you wanna bump it to next week?
nmyJanet:		yeah, if that's okay. I'm not really capable of wearing crotchless panties right now...if you know what I mean.
nmyStephen:		UUUGHHGHGGGHGHOOOTTTTPRRLSPPPPPHHHH!

So, menstrual cycle over, I decided to finally wear my crotchless panties (of the g-string variety) for an entire day. If you're not familiar with this type of undergarment, they are panties with a slit between the legs, so designed for easy access to the female genitalia. Why one would require easy access to that area goes without saying. I hope.

I should preface all of this by saying that when it comes to panties, I am a thong girl. I abhor the type of panties that cover any part of the asschecks as they are accomplices to the fashion crime VPL (visible panty line). I'm truly stunned when I hear women compare thongs to "butt-floss." Either they're wearing them incorrectly or have vast, valley-like genitalia in which a parachute would get lost. No, the "butt-floss" comparison should be reserved for g-strings for those are literally floss-like, usually with a single elastic band resting right in a woman's crevice. My g-string panties, being crotchless, instead have two elastic bands, in an attempt to maintain the illusion that this was an article of clothing and not a wispy waist accessory.

Test #1: Walking
I'd forgotten I was wearing underwear at all the first few steps. Then I remembered. The elastic bands seemed to have some difficulty deciding where they wanted to be. But once they found spots, I'd again forgotten I was wearing underwear. Then I remembered. Altering my movement drastically, like when climbing stairs or squatting, awoke the dormant elastic bands. But once they found spots, I'd again forgotten I was wearing underwear. Then I remembered. This cycle would continue all day.

Test #2: Sitting
The proclivity to forget I was wearing underwear had something to do with the fact that the essential part of the undergarment had been removed. Armed with this knowledge beforehand, I decided to conduct my test-drive in a skirt, as going commando-esque in pants can be not only uncomfortable but a tad messy. At rest, a body wearing crotchless g-string panties will notice a slight draft. Not an entirely unpleasant sensation. Actually, quite refreshing. But, as previously mentioned, altering my movement caused the elastic bands to shift, so it took a moment upon sitting for them to re-position themselves.

Test #3: Urinating
Yes. It's true. I tried to pee while wearing my crotchless panties, tho I left this test for the very end of the day in order to avoid wandering around in potentially urine-soaked undergarments. I couldn't shake the fact that I still had my panties on, but post-wipe it appeared that there was little contact with the elastic. If all panties were crotchless, perhaps the lines in women's public restrooms would be a non-issue.

Test #4: Sexing
The most crucial test but -- sorry, folks -- I was unable to perform it as my boyfriend is 1,000 miles away. However, given the accommodating nature of the panties, my assumption is they don't stand in the way of a good time.

At the end of the day, I came to the conclusion that wearing crotchless g-string panties for an extended period of time is a bad idea. It's not that my special parts were lacerated, but they were invaded by things with the potential to lacerate. Crotchless g-string panties are perhaps best suited for a brief rendezvous in a dark alley. Or a restroom trip at an amusement park.