Let's Go to Dinner and See a Movie

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This rant goes back to my last embarrassing story about blurting out one of the worst questions a girl could ever ask a guy-friend after said guy takes her out... after she just broke up with a somewhat serious boyfriend. When we left our story, said guy-friend had just taken me out to dinner and a movie. It was just like that Phish song, 'cept I didn't know if it was a date or not. (See Geek Girl on a Date, or is She?) So, I did the wisest, most common sense thing any awkward, completely unadjusted girl would do. I asked, "Um, was this a date?"

Right. Fast forward to the present. It wasn't a date. But, it precipitated several dates to come - at least four and two make-out sessions on the couch - with said guy-friend, whom I've always found attractive. And, I think it was mutual. Notice, the use of the past tense here, "was mutual." Now, my attraction is unrequited. Yay!!! Again, just like at Christmas, I've gotten just what I always wanted.

The Beginning of the End
It all started with yet another of those trite but dreadful phrases, this time uttered by him, "We need to talk." (No sentence can strike as much fear into the heart of any prospective love interest besides, "Um... I'm late" or "I think I might be pregnant.")

Guys, do not mistake. This sentence is even more frightening to us girls. For when we voice it to you, it usually means: You did something that hurt my feelings; that I didn't like; that made me feel disrespected; and now I want to talk about it ad nauseum. BUT, when you utter it to us, it can only mean one of a few things: I don't want to date you anymore; I want to break-up; I've yet to see you naked and have decided I don't want to; I'm cheating on you with your best friend; I'm gay. You might as well just skip straight to, "I just want to be friends."

Do Not Ask for Whom the Bell Tolls...
Now, while the idea of discussing, at length, what would make a young woman say such a horrible sentence to a guy may make a guy's stomach turn and his eyes roll back into his head, at least it's not a death knell for whatever connection is happening between the two. Guys, you can live through such encounters relatively unscathed and unhurt. Whereas when a guy says it, the bell's tolling... and it's tolling for the girl.

On top of it all, I'm not sure if I'm jumping to conclusions or not. He didn't exactly say he wasn't still interested in me at all. He said he wanted to be "not dating" and to "start over." That he was uncomfortable with the whole traditional dating thing. That he's more accustomed to just being friends with a girl and seeing what happens from there. And that, if anything was going to happen between us romantically, it would just naturally evolve. At least, I think that's what he said.

I basically took that to mean that he's just not that into me.

Do the Right Thing, Heather, Do the Right Thing
I guess, I can't complain too much. He was very honest and very nice about the whole thing. At any rate, the honesty part was way better than anything SpidermanBoy served up. And most guys wouldn't have had the strength and courage to be as honest and forthcoming as he was about the whole thing.

Since we were friends before, I'm trying to go back to "just friends." I'm obviously struggling with it more than he is.

End of story. Dating concluded. End game. (Where are my chocolate cookies? I know I have chocolate cookies.)

P.S. - Well, only until I get the CuteComicBookstore Guy to ask me out and meet this cute TeacherGuy with whom my friend wants to set me up. Hope springs eternal.