Incredibly long, but incredibly worth reading!
If you've never seen Discovery Channel's Monster House (Monday nights, 8:00pm ET/PT), its premise is quite simple to explain; a small group of builders have 5 days to gut a house and rebuild it based on whatever theme the owner of the house chooses. So, if you feel that 70's disco was the pinnacle of posh decorations (as one homeowner apparently did) you could end up with your own personal discotheque. No, not a modern house with some sparkly wallpaper and a green shag carpet. We're talking about one grooooovy house, complete with a rotating bed, a retractable disco ball, and an in-wall bookcase that spins around to reveal a mini-bar. It's the ultimate Austin Powers shag-shack!

Of course, if the 70's-theme seems passe, no need to worry... the Monster House crew has been put up to all sorts of challenges. There's the Tropical House, complete with back-yard lagoon that simulates a tropical storm with the flip of a switch, and a giant, fire-breathing Tiki God in the living room (as if there's anywhere else in the house you would put your fire-breathing Tiki God). Then there's the Nicaragua- themed Hacienda House with a Tec Mayan sun god wall that opens to reveal their newly renovated patio (doesn't every patio need an automated misting system?) The wild west, a medieval castle, the Golden Age of Hollywood... whatever musings you may have to give your home an extreme make-over, the Monster House crew is up to the challenge.

Well, maybe not any challenge...for the homeowners, Monster House is a way to turn their dilapidated habitats into a bona fide fantasy home. But, for the builders, Monster House is a grueling contest. Complete the house in-time, and the crew gets showered with a cornucopia of state-of-the-art building tools; fail, and suffer the wrath of the host, Steve Watson.

Monster Man
Watson is the charming master builder of Monster House, responsible for guiding the team of builders toward victory. Part foreman, and part peacemaker (there are always at least a couple of builders who get at each other's throat each week, and it's Steve's job to make sure they don't kill each other), Watson balances the art of gentle persuasion with the art of "If you don't finish this $%*##$ project, I'm going to use your intestines to decorate the kitchen!" Ok, well, things don't ever get quite that bad, but the most entertaining shows (i.e. the ones where the builders completely screw things up) turn the generally amiable Watson into a fierce, malevolent overseer. Now that's quality television!

So, let's meet this whimsical host of television's most entertaining make-over show. It's 19 questions with Steve Watson:

Joel:		What kind of budget do you get for each house?
Steve:		Monster House has no set budget. The challenge is to do the impossible in the impossible amount of time. We spend whatever it takes to blow the family and ourselves away.
Joel:		Is there much follow-up done with the owners of the house? I can't imagine your standard repairman having much experience with fixing things like a fire-breathing wall.
Steve:		We stay in contact with the family for a while to make sure everything is in working condition, but we have no 'warranty plan' for a fire-breathing tiki god.
Joel:		Discovery Channel is quite family-friendly, but I'm guessing that it can get pretty tense when you've got a group of carpenters, electricians, etc working under such tight time-constraints.  What would we see if they made a Too Hot For TV DVD of Monster House?
Steve:		You would see a lot of me screaming profanities because some builder pissed me off, or me telling a lot of dirty jokes.
Joel:		They say that great drama needs conflict.  So, would you ever consider throwing in an extra assignment half-way through the construction if things were going too well?
Steve:		If a build is going smooth, that's what I want, but you better believe I keep some extra ideas around in my head, not for drama, but because bigger is better.
Joel:		Your show seems very testosterone-driven.  How come there's so much estrogen in the theme music?
Steve:		I don't pick the music and I use to hate the theme song but now it's grown on me, it's kinda goofy and fun. My wife loves it. But sometimes I just wish the truck could've hit the bird, but maybe PETA has an animated animal division.
Joel:		Speaking of music, what are the last 3 CD's you purchased?
Steve:		I just bought AC/DC's Back In Black, mine got scratched. I also bought Beyonce's cause she's just too hot and Snoop Dogg's newest one.
Joel:		I want an Alice In Wonderland themed monster house.  What can I expect to see when you're done monsterfying it?
Steve:		First, you'd have to get used to living with a big talking cat/sofa. Second, Lots of mushrooms. Third, one of my drunk college buddies could move in and play the 'Mad Hatter'. Last but not least, Jenna Jameson starring as 'Alice'.
Joel:		What's the weirdest Monster House request you've gotten (no fair saying Alice In Wonderland!)
Steve:		Someone asked me to build a 'Dominatrix House' I don't think Discovery would go for it.
Joel:		It's a steel-cage death-match between you and your crew, and the guys from TLC's Trading Spaces.  Who's left standing?
Steve:		My crew would definitely whip the Trading Spaces crew, but if it's me verses Paige Davis... wrestling... I might let her take the match.
Joel:		What your all-time favorite movie? (Sorry, I was running out of clever questions to ask.)
Steve:		House Party, Kid n Play were robbed at the Oscars. Sorry I'm running out of clever answers. Really, I would have to say, And Justice for All is my favorite movie. Al Pacino is the man.
Joel:		Is Tim "the Tool Man" Taylor to the construction community what Ronald McDonald is to the fine dining community? (I guess my clever-drive just got its second wind!)
Steve:		Yes - you could say that.
Joel:		You've been in a number of on-stage musicals... any chance we'll see an episode of Monster House: The Musical?
Steve:		Probably not.
Joel:		What individual Monster House project are you most proud of?
Steve:		I'm most proud of the 'Old West House' That team came together so well after 'Justin the freak' left. It was great to be a part of that team and episode.
Joel:		If you could do it all over again, is there one house in particular you wish you had a second chance on?
Steve:		I wish I could go back to work on the 'Hacienda' house. If I had a different team, we would not have failed.
Joel:		Your crew decides to reward your tireless efforts with a Monster House of your own; what theme would you pick?
Steve:		Wizard of Oz, I think it would be cool to live in a house full of 'Little People'. (Gotta be PC)
Joel:		Who has a tougher job, you or Steve "Crocodile Hunter" Irwin?
Steve:		I think I have a tougher job. Steve loves crocodiles, where I don't love all, if any, of the builders on Monster House. Although, we did have a really sexy female welder on the last house we built. I wouldn't call it love, more of a 'Flashdance' fantasy.
Joel:		Have you started feeling like the typical L.A. celebrity yet?
Steve:		It's weird, I went from just a regular guy to this person that people seem to know. Everyone wants to talk to you. As Thom Beers, Executive Producer of Monster House, once told me - "Fame is just a mathematical equation, just means more people know you than you know them." I will say, it's cool to be VIP in the clubs around town.
Joel:		Any last words you want to share with fans or potential fans of the show?
Steve:		We're just getting started on Monster House, keep watching.
Joel:		Where can fans go to get more info on the show or apply to be a part of Monster House?
Steve:		There is a great fan site at www.discovery.com in the Discovery Channel section - tons of info on the show, episodes, chat boards, photos. Also, there is an application on the site - if you are up for the challenge, fill it out!