This Idea Could Solve All the World's Problems.
Steve Lin is the perfect candidate for cloning. Just picture a world with tons of little Steves running around. What a better place it would be!

Everyone would be polite and courteous. And if you weren't, a little Steve would come up and kung-fu kick you in the knee-cap. Ever been kung-fu kicked in the knee-cap? Hurts like a mother-clucker! It would be a definite deterrent for rude behavior.

No More Divorce
No one would have an individual sense of style. We would all shop at The Gap. This would destroy the fashion industry. No more waif-ish supermodels waltzing around on catwalks and filling glossy pages of fashion rags, holding up an image of women that is completely unattainable. (Yes, unattainable. Not even the supermodels look like supermodels. I've seen Tyra in person. Tyra doesn't even look like Tyra.)

This would help women the world over. Woman-kind's self-esteem would multiply tenfold, which would help relationships between men and women.

The divorce rate would drastically decrease. No more single-parent homes. Kids would grow up to be more wholesome; they would be more like Steve, thereby, decreasing the crime-rate, too. No more juvie!

Good Jobs For All (And a Steve in Every Pot)!
Everyone would be diplomatic and caring. No longer would there be bosses who belittle and degrade you. (Because you know, all the little Steves would be in positions of leadership and power.) Employers would be constructive, and even when they had to reprimand you, they'd do so positively. If not, see above. Maybe this time, a little Steve would kung-fu kick the perpetrator in the balls or pelvic bone, whichever the case may be.

This in turn would increase productivity. Everyone would be happy and productive, which would help bring the economy around. Unemployment would be abolished. The stock market would shoot way up. All the state budget crises would be solved. The federal budget would be balanced, too.

Of course, one of the Steves would be voted in as president. All our foreign relations could be fixed. We could put little Steves in charge everywhere: Iran, Iraq, Syria, Saudi Arabia, Liberia, the Congo, Afghanistan, Serbia, France, Germany, etc., etc., etc. Before we know it, world peace would be achieved!

Take Me Away From All This Death
By this time, President Steve would have developed a socialistic medical system for the whole world. Everyone would have access to the best healthcare everywhere. Addiction to smoking would be cured. AIDS would be cured. Cancer would be cured. Parkinson's would be cured. MS would be cured. We could inject everyone with little Steve stem cells from yet-developed clones.

This would lead to everyone living forever. No more death! We'd all be perfectly healthy all the time. Anything that happened to you could be cured. It'd be great; we'd all be like blood-sucking vampires.

Naturally, the world's population would max out pretty quickly. So, everyone will have to stop having babies. Sterilization will be mandatory.

Playing God?
Now, all we have to do is legalize human cloning - for Steve Lin only. Sure, this might fly in the face of all that's holy. Sure, every religion in the world may find this a mockery of morals. But, it's worth it! Who doesn't want to build utopia on the back of one crying baby?

So, let's go over what we've learned. Why cloning Steve Lin would help the whole world. It would:

• Stop rude behavior.
• Solve women/men relations.
• Decrease divorce.
• Decease crime.
• Get rid of unemployment.
• Solve the country's financial problems.
• Bring about world peace.
• And, put an end to death!

This article is part of Newmoanyeah's Happy Birthday, Newmoanyeah Week.