Anything for Newmoanyeah
[Boston.com recently ran a little pseudo-contest spoofing the whole crazy gubernatorial candidates thing in California. Me, the benign opportunist that I am, thought this would be as good a chance as any to get some publicity for Newmoanyeah. I asked a bunch of folks to nominate me, citing Newmoanyeah as a reason for why I ought to be one of the final candidates. Here's what Curious Staff Writer Joel and Non-Ukranian Staff Writer Manolo had to say... - Steve]

Joel Why says...
I have known Steve for some 15 years. I have respected him for a good 13 of those years (1991-92 were bad years for him). He's brilliant, honest, and good driver. He has enormous musical prowess, and an only below-average sexual prowess. He's an amazing musician, an ardent student of kung-fu, and forgivable complete lack of a sense of style.

Steve is the creator of Newmoanyeah.com, a New England-centered pop culture website. Clearly his presense in the Northeast is a blessing to us all.

Oh, and unlike many government officials, Steve is not afraid to micromanage; he personally taught me how to play guitar, completely designed my band's website, and was a great asset in my youth while I was trying to lose my virginity. Everyone needs a friend like Steve... no, scratch that. Everyone needs a GOVERNOR like Steve!

Manolo Moreno says...
Of all the pictures chosen, you pick the George Wendt one from the episode where he gets impaled by a wooden stake. I wouldn't dig having that as a governor. It would be awkward around the podium. I think a good choice for governor would probably be this guy, Stephen Lin, from Quincy.

I decided to stay in the Boston area for a good part of the summer and didn't realize how lonely a city could be. Coupled with the first days of extreme humidity, I was almost driven mad. imagine not talking to anyone for a week other than a cashier who routinely says "hi" once in the bluest of blue moons. Not used to talking, you don't even say anything other than a distant nod. even that puts a strain on your vocal cords, which is already down the street of entropy.

Eventually you start to understand why the crazy homeless people are crazy. Your inner monologues leap out of you, and there you are mumbling to yourself, with occasional barking outbursts. To remedy my lack of human interaction, I started busking. With no musical skills, I'd try my hand with ventriloquism. I got the "not moving lips" part down, but I didn't have a puppet, and I was too weary to move my hands around. so it was pretty much me mumbling to myself again.

I developed a routine in my act based on the classic water drinking trick. I had no glass of water though, so it was just me sticking my tongue out and licking the humidity out of the air. During this, my non-existent puppet would do an impression of visiting the doctor and getting his tonsils checked.

Although I'm too unkempt to be Beyonce, I truly did feel like Destiny's Child. During this licking the air routine, this stranger named Stephen walked by and placed a quarter on my tongue -- like God himself, giving me communion. After showing my gratitude, he invited me for lunch. This is how good of a fellow this guy is.

Now, I don't know how good he is in bed, for I am not gay. but from the short time that I've known him, I noticed that there was a sustained upward energy about him. Almost as if his own spirit remained erect. That could give you an idea.

Like a good politician, he is very personable and friendly, almost to a fault. To be honest, I sort of wanted to get rid of him toward the end, but he compensates with the default awkward air of his nerdiness. that's actually what made him more vulnerable and trusting. On the street I asked him, "Hey, how do I know you won't kidnap me and use me disturbingly?" and he replied, "Well, I am the creator of this nerdy web page called Newmoanyeah.com"

And that was pretty much it. I mean if George Wendt came up to me there would be no way I'd let him take advantage of my time. Even if he said he was the guy in Cheers who got impaled by a wooden stake. You'd think it would be, but it really wasn't as inviting as a smile from Mr. Lin.

This article is part of Newmoanyeah's Happy Birthday, Newmoanyeah Week.