Is the Title 'Wild About Harry' Overused Yet? feature by Lori Shea

Confessions of a Not-So-Secret Admirer

What you are about to read may seem pathetic, and I guarantee you, it is. That said, I cannot deny the truth - Harry Potter is the 'main man' in my life.

It has become an inside joke with my friends. At the end of the night they wink at me and say, "Going home to Harry, huh?" And often I am. I usually sleep with Harry too. It's fairly common for me to read a chapter of Harry just before going to bed. I'm an annoyingly fast reader, so I re-read all the Harry Potter books frequently to slow me down reading all the non-Harry Potter books I buy. If I'm afraid of finishing a new book too quickly, I just read chapters of Harry to break things up.

I think I sleep with Harry so much because I find the books very fun yet relaxing, and because I'm single as all hell. Of course, there is always the theory that I am single because I sleep with Harry so much. I suppose it could be disconcerting for guys I'm on dates with to hear me go on and on about "Harry this" and "Harry that." [This one time? At Hogwarts? Heh. - Lisa] It is a lot to compete with. At the end of the day, boys will come and go, but Harry will always be there for me.

Truth vs. Fiction
Let's be honest - the dating scene is freaking scary. If I had to choose between an awkward first date full of small talk, general bullshit, discussing "what I do" and pretending that I care about some guy's new sports car, and curling up in bed with warm blankets, fluffy pillows, hot chocolate, and a Harry Potter book, I'd pick the latter any night of the week. Actually, forget the hot chocolate and blankets and pillows, just give me a place to rest my head and throw me any old Harry Potter book. (Yes, I know this sounds sad, but keep in mind that I do live in the gay capital of the world where available non-psychotic straight guys are about as rare as a parselmouth.)

As I have read each of the four earlier Harry Potter books about 500 times each, I was pretty thrilled for the new book to be released. Of course, there was the minor snag of two wonderful friends of mine choosing to get married on the day of the new Harry release. It was a tad inconsiderate of them, but I guess when you're in love, you forget about the true love in other people's lives.

An Early Morning Quickie
The Order of the Phoenix, came out on June 21st in Sydney, and it was available starting from 9:01 am at bookstores all over town. The wedding was to start at 11am. I am not an early riser on the weekends, so I really didn't have time to be waiting in line at a bookstore when I was supposed to be watching two lovely pals vow to love and honour each other for as long as they both shall live, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, long after the last Harry Potter book and film are released, yadda yadda yadda, all that romantic stuff. Amen.

I was not going to be able to read the book at all that day, so did I really need to get up earlier, shower earlier, get dressed and dolled up earlier just to go buy a heavy book bigger than my head?

I was weak, but not totally dumb. No way was I lining up before 9am. As intriguing as it was to think about witnessing the rabid kids and parents and bookstore employees all dressed up as wizards and witches and jumping up and down over the new book, I am really not a morning person. At all. I cared about the new book, very much, and I was incredibly excited, but not in a screaming-Beatles sort of way. My love for Harry is much more "subtle."

My game plan was to stroll up at 10am and if the line was long, I'd just give up and head for the church. But if I could snag a book quickly, well, my reading material for after the wedding would be ready and waiting.

I approached the bookstore with great anticipation. Much to my delight, there was no line. I stepped up to the register, gave my name for my pre-ordered book, paid for it, and got my copy. It took about two minutes total. I laughed at the employees who looked like they had just suffered a very traumatic event. Their wizard hats and robes were all in disarray and I couldn't help but ask, "So, how was it? Was it totally crazy?" Several employees just nodded, eyes glazed over. One woman just stared at me for a long time, finally saying, "It was... it was... the screaming! The squealing! The little feet stampeding! Those animals! Dear God, I've never seen anything like it. Never!"

Call TLC! It's a Wedding Story.
So Harry was my "date" to the wedding, as I didn't have time to go home and put the book down on my bed, waiting for me to come home that evening. Harry spent the entire day in my big black purse. At the church, while we were waiting for the ceremony to begin, several people mentioned the Harry Potter madness and made comments about the nut-jobs they had passed on the way to the church, reading their books in herds at coffee shops all over town. I guiltily admitted that I had the new Harry in my bag. I got a few raised eyebrows, and I did reassure them that I wouldn't have risked missing the wedding to get Harry, but I'm not sure they believed me.

The day before the wedding I wondered to myself if there would possibly be any "free time" between the wedding and the reception - "free time" during which I could perhaps read a few chapters. I even fantasized about escaping to the ladies room at the reception hall to read a chapter of Harry now and then. But on the actual wedding day, I was very well behaved. I was fine. I was perfectly content to wait until I got home that night. Of course, I had a birthday party to go to first. But then I would be going home to Harry.

However, after all the red wine and champagne at the reception, I did have quite a headache, so I ended up skipping the birthday party all together and just went home and got into bed with Harry. The things I do for my man.

I only read for a couple hours that night due to my headache but the next day I read for eight hours. I was on a mission of love.

How Do I Love He? Let Me Count the Ways
So what do I see in Harry? Well, first there is Harry himself. That whole scar thing is pretty cool and it will be sexy as soon as he is old enough for me to find anything about him sexy, (which will be when the next book comes out, yay!) The whole orphaned thing makes you just want to give him 15 years of hugs, and he's got that intriguing rebel thing happening. He usually only breaks rules for the greater good of wizard and muggle-kind so you gotta love that. Plus, I can't help but have respect for someone who has saved the world from Evil (Voldemort! Voldemort! Voldemort!) plenty of times. Hell, I'd be happy with a guy who could just remove spiders or other unwanted intruders from my apartment, nevermind someone who could save the world from Evil.

As for the books in general, J.K. Rowling rocks. Her characters rock. Harry, Ron, Hermoine, Hargrid, Dumbledore, and McGonagall rock. Lupin and Sirius Black rock. Even the scumbag, evil, miserable, no good bastard characters rock. Snape, Voldemort, Lucius and Draco Malfoy, and Professor Umbridge (just to name a few) are so deliciously fun to hate. I could go on and on about why I enjoy the Harry books so much, but don't worry, I won't. They are hilarious and intriguing, and until I stumble upon a decent non-psychotic available straight man, Harry Potter will be the 'main man' in my life.

Besides, one day he'll be all grown up, and that pesky age difference won't matter.