You are entering... the Yankee bashing zone.
Mr. Jay Mastaitis, a Newmoanyeah staffer with a penchant for hot sauce, whistling, and the Mets, is about to realize Red Sox fans' unequaled disdain of the Yankees. While a common hatred is shared by Mr. Mastaitis and his debate-invitees, Matt VanWinkle and Missie Horal, Jay will soon discover that he's opened a veritable Pandora's Box of pent-up Red Sox fan wrath in... the Yankee Bashing Zone.

ROUND ONE: Jay Mastaitis, Tastes-Like-Burning Staff Writer
Now then, I'm sure I'm going to hear lots about history, Babe Ruth, Bucky Dent, 1918, blah, blah, blah. The truth is, however, that all those decades of misery have simply taken the edge out of the Red Sox/Evil Empire conflict. Sure, the average Sox fan begins the season with a healthy vat of venom-laden bile towards the Sons of Sat...Steinbrenner. But by September, as the Sox season collapses into chaos, it seems that many Sox fans (at least the last couple of years) have emptied their vat and filled it with a muted acceptance of the Yankees dominance. In addition, baseball slowly disappears from the Boston papers, replaced instead with comforting thoughts of the Celtics and Bruins.

Here in the Big Apple, however, there is no escape. The Yankees dominate the papers from February to November. Steinbrenner's chubby mug is inescapable on the evening news. A casual, innocent Mets fan walking down the street is often told that he lives in the wrong city (I've really been told this). Even the offseason brings constant updates of how the Empire is buying their next championship. It is this constant, unrelenting, in-your-face stream of Yankee propaganda that keeps a Mets fan's vat simmering with hot Yankee hatred 365 days a year. Mets fans may not have the history of hatred that Sox fans have but the information age has brought Mets fans' Yankee loathing to an entirely new level.

ROUND ONE: Matt VanWinkle, Lemurish Staff Writer
Taking my esteemed but misguided colleague's points in reverse order:

1. The media frenzy. I could imagine the argument that the Mets fan has to put up with more offseason Yankee crap than the Red Sox fan holding water twenty years ago. New York fans dealt with mostly New York-based media, and Boston fans with Boston-based media. But, as you rightly point out, this is the information age. Given the explosion of baseball reporting as a *national phenomenon*--ESPN, USA Today, Baseball Weekly--the difference between the saturation of Yankees news a Mets fan endures and the saturation of Yankees news a Sox fan endures is smaller than ever, and continues to shrink. You've been hoist by your own petard on this one, Jay.

2. The closer proximity between Mets fans and Yankee fans.

   I'm tempted to concede this one, except that there's a difference between hating a team and hating its fans. Take the Super Bowl as a recent example. There were decent reasons to root for the Raiders as a team; they had a bunch of old guys trying to make good one last time before riding off into the sunset. But who really wanted to see the ostentatious thuggery of the misbegotten denizens of the Black Hole rewarded? You can like the team (Jerry Rice, Tim Brown) and hate the fans.

   Now, granted, Yankees fans as a rule are a distasteful bunch. I should know. They buy lots of tickets when the Bombers come to Fenway. They rather enjoy watching nine innings at a more pleasant ball park than they're used to, enjoy swearing at different vendors, and enjoy peeing on different sidewalks. But there's still a difference between hating a team's fans, and hating a team. I hate the Yankees. I hate each and every one of their players. I hate it that Alfonso Soriano would swing at a bag of peanuts thrown thirty rows behind home plate, and still manages to reach enough pitches to hit thirty home runs. I hate how Derek Jeter doesn't wear his cap in the dugout because he's afraid he'll mess up his hair, even though it's only a half-inch long everywhere on his head. I hate that each Bernie Williams at-bat can be timed with a sundial. I hate the way Mariano Rivera's ears stick out from under his cap. I hate David Wells pretty much because he's David Wells. And so on.

3. Sox fans dissipate their hatred by following other teams in the Olde Towne, a consequence of growing complacency in the face of Yankee dominance.

   This time last year, the Patriots won the Super Bowl. It was the single greatest professional sports achievement in this town in fifteen years. Boston was bananas, starry-eyed over their Cinderella heroes. If there was ever a time when the sting of an 83 year World Series drought might have been forgotten, it was February 6, 2002, when the Patriots paraded the Lombardi Trophy to City Hall.

   And what happened? Lawyer Milloy started a "Yankees Suck" chant. And the crowd went wild. And the crowd joined in.

ROUND ONE: Missie Horal, Scattagoric Staff Writer
Valid points from both sides. I would like to elaborate on the media bit.

1. Mets fans who live in NYC should find it within the reasonable realm of possibility that they will read about Yankee news in their papers. It is, after all, the same city. Why must I read about the Yankees in Boston? It's the hate/hate relationship between the two teams. While following our own beloved Sox, we must keep a close eye on the demon-seed. We keep our friends close, but our enemies closer.

2. Yankee Propaganda: Just in case there was not enough fear and loathing in Boston of the Yankees, the Media has taken to cooking up conspiracy theories. We blamed the Yankees for Colone ending up in Chicago instaed of Boston. It all kinda works under the "Six degrees of Steinbrenner" rules. So it ISN'T propaganda. It IS true! Damn, I hate those Yankees!

Lastly, allow me to get Fruedian. Is the Met's fan bringing on this debate because of some misdirected hate on Boston's behalf? Do Met's fans have abhorrance envy? Shouldn't Boston hate their team MORE than the Yankees? True, the Yanks have edged us out of division titles, and more recently, a League Championship, but the Mets were the last to beat the Sox in a Series. The SURE WIN series at that! They stole the Red Sox' golden moment, their crowning glory after o'so many years. But some how, we got over that. I think even Buckner hates the Yankees more.

So, not only do Sox fans hate the Yankees more than the Mets' fans, we hate the Yankees more than the Mets. Get over it.

I would like to submit the following email I received from a fellow Red Sox fan and native Bostonian (who knew nothing of our debate), as evidence regarding the "Yankees Conspiracy Theory" or "Six degrees of Steinbrenner". Her message to me is that typed above the Onion aricle link. I wish I knew if the writer of The Onion article is a Red Sox fan...

>  -----Original Message-----
> From:    	XXXXX, Petra  
> Sent:   	Wednesday, February 05, 2003 9:39 AM
> To:   	XXXXXX, Martin; XXXXXXXXXX, Bill; Horal, Melissa
> Subject:   	so that's their sneaky plan...
> 
> i always knew the Yankees were up to no good...
> 
> http://www.theonion.com/onion3904/yankees.html

ROUND TWO: Jay Mastaitis, Tastes-Like-Burning Staff Writer
Yeek! Why in the world did I propose a 2 against 1 debate? Not only do you both make valid points, but I have to comment (and commend) you on augmenting your Yankee Hatred levels over the past couple years. Although I still think that being a Mets fan in a (really, really big) Yankee town is one of the worst Hells one can imagine, I think we can all comfortably agree that Derek Jeter belongs in one much worse. Any final comments? Nothing on Roger?

ROUND TWO: Missie Horal, Scattagoric Staff Writer
Ah yes, Roger. I reserve a special ichor of hatred for him. Is there anything more heinous than a traitor? Mercenaries are pretty bad, but since their loyalty is only to money, one gets the impression that donning a Yankee uniform means no more to them than a Devil Rays jersey so long as the check is in the mail. But loyalty being so nonchalantly cast aside for personal greed and a ring, always the Ring My Precious, well that would be unforgivable. Mo is still applauded when he returns to Fenway. Ted Williams, despite his rough personality, is still a hero to this town. Heck, the Duke may even be able to show his face in a season or two. But Clemens, who was given a standing ovation upon returning to Fenway in a Blue Jays uniform, was BOOED off the field in '99 when he was named a member of the All Century Team. Pinstripes carry a hefty penalty in this city. 13 years of loyalty and all-star pitching means squat when your a Damn Yankee.

How many Mets players have gone on to wear pinstripes? Of those, how many would be stoned in the streets if they walked through Queens? Roger wouldn't stand a chance on Brookline Ave.

ROUND TWO: Matt VanWinkle, Lemurish Staff Writer
I guess I'll close by offering the most extreme instance I know of Red Sox-Yankees hatred. Naturally, I'm the source of such choice bile. Lord only knows why, but I was watching the introductions to last year's All-Star game. When Jorge Posada, the Yankees catcher, was announced, he sent his toddler son out in his place. So the kid kinda ran toward the spot he was supposed to go to, and then started trotting toward the outfield. Red Sox hitting machine/visiting Starchild Manny Ramirez scooped the tyke up. While Miller Park was still basking in this heart-warming prospect of paternal affection and innocent enthusiasm, I was thinking, "Cool! Manny's got a hostage! Run, Manny, run!" Of course, he handed the kid back. Dolt.

There you have it!
Mr. Jay Mastaitis once dreamt of quashing Red Sox fans' notion that their hatred of the Yankees was greater than that of Mets fans'. Now, he may reconsider that dream. However, he must wonder: are there REALLY any losers in... the Yankee Bashing Zone?