Uncle Sam Wants You... to Take His Money!
by Justin Montanino, Post Humorous Staff Writer
December 13, 2002 + New York, NY
REALLY Not a Free Money Scam
 I now realize, in retrospect, that it's impossible to report on a free money giveaway without sounding shadier than the guy who sold me that Make-$-At-Home-By-Taking-Free-Viagra kit a few months back. So let's just get that out of the way. This is true. Actual news agencies nearly as reputable as newmoanyeah have reported on it.
See, the Evil Recording Industry (hereby referred to as 'ERI') was recently sued by 41 states and got reamed with $143 million in fines. The crime: artificially inflating CD prices (what, you mean the jewel cases aren't made of real jewels?). So now there's a big pot of the ERI's bloodmoney waiting to be collected. And since it came from the American people to begin with, that's exactly where the government plans to return it, minus a percentage for some fruity do-gooder organizations.
Eligibility a Snap!
According to the settlement's official website, www.musiccdsettlement.com/english, you're eligible to receive up to $20 of the claim just for doing nothing if you answer YES to the following questions:
- Are you a person or entity?
- Did you buy a CD between the years of 1995 and 2000, Anno Domini?
- Did the above mentioned purchase occur at a store?
That's it, so if you answered YES, follow the link on their website, enter your name, then kick back and wait to claim your check. Of course, you may still want to go to work between now and then, it is only $20 after all. But on the flipside, the fact that it's found money practically doubles it, and since it's the government that's giving you money for a change, plus no paperwork to fill out, well, you might as well be winning a rather small but meaningful lottery.
A modest 15% 'referral fee' can be PayPal'd to justin@newmoanyeah.com.
On the web: www.musiccdsettlement.com/english
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