[REDUNDANT WARNING! The advice seen here is for entertainment purposes only! Newmoanyeah will not be held liable for anything. Got it? Good.]

Dear Newmoanyeah:

At what age does it become socially unacceptable to purchase toys for yourself? And why is there some "loser stigma" attached to the notion of full-grown adult playing with toys?

Sincerely,
Toymaster

Curious Staff Writer Joel Why	Groovalicious Editor Lisa Turner
If you were buying these toys under the guise that they were collectibles, I suppose I could have let you slide. But, it's not that there's a "loser stigma" attached because you're an adult playing with toys; the fact is you ARE a loser, and playing with toys just goes along nicely with your He-Man Underoos, and your Friday nights home alone watching a Dr. Who marathon and anime porn. And, for the record, the Ken & Barbie box-set I own where they're dressed as Mulder & Scully are action figures, NOT toys.	Speaking as someone who always kept a pack of crayons in her desk at work (when I had a desk job) and a full set of Simpsons action figures on my bookshelf, I don't think you ever get too old to suround yourself with things that spark your creativity. Then again, maybe you're just picking the wrong toys. Do you rush home to fix Barbie's hair for her big date with Wolverine? Have you ever cooked dinner for a date then served up dessert straight from your EZ Bake Oven and Snoopy Sno Cone machine? There's a fine line between trendy kitch and immature obsessions. Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, 'Am I more John Waters, or Michael Jackson?'
Amphibious Staff Writer Mitch Krpata	Scattagoric Staff Writer Missie Horal
It's hard to answer without knowing what kind of toys you're talking about. There are some toys you can't legally purchase unless you are an adult. For the sake of argument, I'm going to assume you're talking about GI Joe, Transformers, et al. Toys with which you can turn your living room floor into an intergalactic battlefield, littered with mechanized corpses and fortresses shaped like skulls. God damn, I love that shit. Look, I hate to oversimplify it, but "socially unacceptable" is almost always a fallacious term. Plenty of people are living happy lives with way weirder interests than you've got. You're correct that there's a stigma attached, but part of growing up is not caring about stuff like that. Besides, if some whitehat has a problem with your action figures, take a close look at the vomit streaks on the front of his BC sweatshirt and ask yourself who the real loser is. Have you seen that new Castle Grayskull? It kicks ass.	Coming Soon!