If you're like most college freshmen, you'll need a second liver. Thanks to your newfound freedom, you'll do so much drinking you'll put Tara Reid to shame. Also, a handful of earplugs. I won't repeat the tale of my freshman suitemmate's wall-banging sex. Suffice it to say you don't want to get to know your suitemates that well. Lastly, a camera. These are the best years of your life and you'll want to capture the moment when your friend Josh passes out in the bathroom mid-pee.
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Sounds like you need to pack your momma, pussy boy; she's obviously the one with the testicles in the family. Oh, and of those Crest electric toothbrushes. They rock!
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| Well, gee... I kind of feel like every freshman should have a great collection of DVDs. And I'm not just saying this because I like sending sales to our pals at Poker Industries. Okay, maybe I am. But just the same, you will be the cool kid on your hall if you own copies of Irreversible, Battle Royale, and The Best of Martial Arts Films on DVD. (Cut me some slack... I'm trying to support a growing website here.)
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Here's the thing: you're probably already taking too much shit. So, my advice, unpack some of it and leave it at home. What happens is that each year you get more and more stuff. And each year you have to move in and out of a dorm. If you're on the traditional 4-year plan, that means moving 8 times! And it sucks. So, take only what you'll need -- clothes, shower shoes, a computer, a few pictures of friends at home, a key ring with a bottle opener, and stuff for your bed. Once you get to school, you can pick up a few more basics that you might have forgotten. You should leave the following at home: your coffee maker (they aren't allowed), your pet guinea pig (you'll have a pet roommate soon), any and all reference books (that's what the Internet is for), and your entire collection of Star Wars figurines (you'll never get any when your date sees them lined up along your bookshelf).
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