Anal Sex and Incontinence
as answered by Manolo Moreno, Missie Horal
July 28, 2003
[REDUNDANT WARNING! The advice seen here is for entertainment purposes only! Newmoanyeah will not be held liable for anything. Got it? Good.]
Dear Newmoanyeah:
Is it true that if you have anal sex to often you will start to lose control of yourself in the anal area? I am askin this question cause my g/f really enjoys anal sex but is worried it will mess her up for life. Sexual pleasure is not worth ruining her body for ever. Thank you very much.
Sincerely,
Shane D.
Dear Shane:
I went straight to a physician to answer this question. This doctor requested that his real name be withheld.
Me: "Can I ask you a question about anal sex?"
Dr. X: "Are you trying to come out to us again?"
Me: "No, dad, I'm just wondering if the wear and tears are for life."
Dr. X: "Are you considering homosexuality or something?"
Me: "No. But if it were for life, would you eventually have to wear adult diapers?"
Dr. X: "You're lucky you have a lot of siblings. I want grandchildren."
After further pressing, he says that within reason, there shouldn't be any physiological effect. "We sometimes cut the sphincter muscles of the anus just to prevent pain in some conditions," explains the good doctor, "and it would not cause them to have fecal incontinence."
Manolo Moreno, A Non-Ukranian Staff Writer
Dear Shane:
I am by no means a qualified medical expert, but here is my thought. If a vagina can bounce back after pushing out a 7-11lb bowling ball, there ain't anything big enough that you can shove up your girlfriend's butt that will ruin her for life. But what a considerate young man you must be for asking.
Missie Horal, Scattagoric Staff Writer
To the Anal Avenger:
Honestly (and thankfully), I don't know.
Anonymous
Dear Shane:
Yes. Yes, it will. Ruin her for life, mmm-hmmm. And besides, you'll also get poop on your dick. Ew!
Heather Cunningham, Cowboy Booted Staff Writer
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