[REDUNDANT WARNING! The advice seen here is for entertainment purposes only! Newmoanyeah will not be held liable for anything. Got it? Good.]

Dear Newmoanyeah:

I'm a reasonably attractive girl who is considering stripping to pay for my college education. Could you give me some pros and cons to doing this?

Sincerely,
Naked n' Educated
[Real name withheld by request. - Ed.]

Pros: Hey, if you don't mind the work, it's a great way to pay for school... keeps your days free and, maybe if you're really lucky, someone like Collin Farrell will give you a hefty tip! Or perhaps it might help you get some "extra credit" from a professor.

Cons: If you really want to earn the big bucks, I guess you could go to stripping school and learn the right way to slide down a pole! However, you might run into a family member, friend, or ex-boyfriend (or, even worse, a guy you want to date) while "on the job". If that makes you nervous, you might want to try Wal-Mart instead.

Jennifer Saylor, Comic Conventional Staff Writer

Do it. Why not? You'll be parting your legs around a pole so suckers will part with their money. And it's going to a good cause - higher education. Were there a demand for portly minority gigolos jiggling their goods, I'd be right alongside you, instead of sponging off my parents for cash.

Cons? Well, there'll be plenty coming to see you, so make sure you work at a place with a good bouncer while you're bouncing. Though by far your education at the School of Hard Knockers will make you a Pro in street smarts compared to your country club classmates. And you gotta admit, that's one hell of an extracurricular activity to put on your resume.

Johnathan Mason, JapaNerd Staff Writer

I often wonder, if I had the bod, would I consider stripping for a living. Strippers make great money, and if you're not at all body conscious, it's gotta be pretty easy to learn a routine and dance in front of horny guys. Lots of money, low effort; I'd say that's a gold mine waiting to happen.

On the other hand, it's kind of gross to think that guys are sitting there in the audience getting a hard-on because of it. Really, do you want to be making EVERY guy hot and bothered? Take a look around any public place: see that weird old guy with the maniacal look in his eye and scruffy hair? He'll probably be watching you and going home to think about you while he jerks off.

But hey, if that doesn't bother you, go for it. And, in the end, if you can't decide, just ask yourself what Brian Boitano would do.

Kerry Sainato, Fuzzy Pink Staff Writer

I see no reason why you shouldn't do it. What school did you say you were going to...?

Anonymous