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Dear Newmoanyeah:

Let's say hypothetically that I wanted to convince my fiancée that it'd be a great idea to invite another woman into our bedroom for some hot three-way action. What would be the most diplomatic way to tackle this topic?

Sincerely,
Nahtoo Bryte
[Real name withheld by request. - Ed.]

You could cut off your balls, roast them on an open fire, put an ice pick through your eye, then jump from a moving car into a den of lions. That way, you save your fiancée the trouble of doing it to you herself once you ‘diplomatically’ bring this up.

My suggestion, instead, is to convince Editor Steve to issue you an assignment. Head over to RealDoll.com, place an order, and then review the goods (with your girlfriend) for an upcoming issue. That way you kind of get your threesome, your fiancée gets to feel like she’s advanced your journalistic career, and the rest of us find out what those dolls are really like. Because you can be sure as hell we’ve all been wondering.

Anonymous

Do you want to go ahead with this marriage? If so, you might not want to bring it up.

On the other hand, if you have a very open relationship, you might just ask her feelings on the subject. You might end up with a slap in the face, but you might end up talking about the topic, if at least, hypothetically. Who knows, she might be into it. I guess the thing is, you never know, unless your willing to risk some bodily harm and a broken off engagement.

How's that for some non-commital advice?

Kerry Sainato, Fuzzy Pink Staff Writer

Well, let's start off by finding out if there's a 3rd person you have in mind for this! If yes, I'd start with her first and see what she says. If she says, "No," it's still basically okay. You might get slapped, but you don't live with this chick, so it's okay if you piss her off.

If she says, "Yes," all the better! Now it's two against one in convincing the fiancée that this isn't just a "guy thing". Maybe knowing that the other woman is up for the challenge, might encourage your fiancée to give it try.

I would suggest you not use video equipment or flash photography during this event. That is, unless, one of the ladies suggest to do so. Then, by all means, go out and warm up the camcorder! Just think, when you're married, you can go to the next level in spouse-swapping!

Jennifer Saylor, Comic Conventional Staff Writer

My Advice: "DON'T DO IT!" Let's say, you invite another woman. Now really, who is gonna be able to "work the equipment better," you who borrow it from time to time or a person who owns it.

Soon your fiancée is gonna realize that, "Wow! Damn, I can get an orgasm from her better... she doesn’t fart, actually smells nice, likes to cuddle, and she listens to you. She even likes to watch the same shows (Joe Millionaire, The Bachelorette, The Bachelor, American idol, etc.)!"

Next thing you know, you're alone and still paying for the ring. But, if you really REALLY want to do it, here's how.

Step 1: Get her comfortable with the image of "having" a another women. Watch porn with her... but just all-girl porn. (Just pretend you thought it was a regular porn.)

Step 2: Find out which girl friends she finds attractive. Ask her, "If you were a guy, who would she have sex with and why?"

Step 3: Hire two prostitutes to make out with each other in a car nearby or an elevator you guys just happen to be in. See how she reacts. If she can't keep herself from looking, you might be golden otherwise continue to step 4.

Step 4: Hire a hot girl to come on to her. Soon she'll be thinking, "Wow, if I wanted to try a girl... I could have."

Step 5: Tell her "Oh, I saw the way you were looking at the those two girls in the elevator. At first I was jealous and angry, but now I feel that I love you so much that if you wanted another girl in the bed, I think... NO! I KNOW our love is strong enough, if you should want another girl to join us."

Then, she'll think it's her idea! Hence, she'll do all the work; she'll feel all the guilt; and you'll enjoy all the goodies.

Paul Shim, PoetTech Staff Writer