Live on Letterman
Christina Aguilera's Letterman appearance on October 28 has won my respect for her. Sure, the song she did sounded like other songs with the addition of her semi-trademarked moan-randomly-for-no-reason-other-than-to-fill-space stylings, but her honest and simple-as-sesame street (which goes well with honesty) lyrics framing her trashy public image bought her some class and sympathy.

There's usually a phantom smell you get when you see or hear about her that reminds you of the pungent aroma of college kid apartments. But that night she was dressed full enough to cover up any odors. Yet, just like a priest has a little white on his collar, Christina has a little idiocy on her bust area: usually neckties come down from around the bottom of your neck. But on her low cut button up shirt, Christina's necktie pours out her cleavage. Why? She's an artist, and artists try to do things that are "retarded." I mean "new and different."

I don't know the name of it, but it is a slow song which requires a stool to sit on and has overused piano licks for the sirenous diva to weave through melodically. Yes, it's back to the attention of her pretty alright voice, which croons about her perseverance over the judgement of strangers like you and me and TV. Yes, she says with a sultry soul, everything is beautiful. And that's what makes her cool. That's why I give her my blessings to rock on like the retard that she is. The stupid idiot.

[The views expressed in this article do not necessarily represent the views of newmoanyeah as a whole... but, then again, they might. - Ed.]