I don’t know if it was the texture of the paper or just his words, but I was sure that if I placed my tongue on the pages and started licking, it would be just as smooth as the reading was. I like a worthwhile rambler, and Dave Eggers rambles so well that if they were edible, his syntax would be served to starving nations as gourmet meals. There are plenty of words, but I guess that’s the nature of a novel.

This Review Uses Descriptive Metaphors
If the passages by Eggers were a band, they’d sound like slacker jazz. They would play to you charmingly and openly and lazily, but without any threatening confrontations -– their backs turned against you. And if the band were a book, it, too, would be charming, open, and lazy without forceful confrontations. From start to finish. Even though I only read the first ten pages. So maybe at least from pages one to ten.

All Reviews Use Big Words
If it weren’t for reviews, big and smart sounding words would become extinct. To carry on this tradition of literary environmentalism, I went through the pages of a thesaurus and window-shopped for a nice word to fancy up the small-town simpleton known as "Good".

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius is a benevolent book based on the author’s personal struggles after his parents die. Eggers once painted scenes expressing his restrained anger toward cancer-judging strangers. He fantasizes about bludgeoning them with violent wrestling moves and words too grotesque for Pay Per View. He portrays himself there as a frustrated child with the noble cause of protecting his dying mother. Benevolently done, Eggers. Benevolent job.

The Optional Blatancy of One’s Verdict
I’d recommend this benevolent and humorously clever book. At least the first ten pages. And I highly recommend licking them afterwards.