The VERY Good
Yay! America did not have its collective head shoved up its collective ass on this one.

Kelly Clarkson was crowned the winner of the American Idol competition. She out-sang (and on some levels, out-classed) her rivals and finally emerged victorious.

No doubt, talented finalists Justin Guarini and Tamyra Gray will also have good fortune in finding professional work as performers. For that matter, "weakest link" Nikki McCray will probably find some level of success as well.

While the following rant does not represent the "bad" for this review, I feel that I must comment on the two "Idol" songs performed during the series finale. They were just awful! "One Magic Moment" (or whatever it's called) may do well. I'll attribute any success to Clarkson's ability to sing; I mean, c'mon... she could sing the Sy Snootles parts from any Max Rebo Band song (like the popular "Lapti Nek" as seen in Jabba's palace in the Special Edition of Return of the Jedi) and make it sound wonderful!

As one of my friends put it, "Who wrote these songs? Air Supply?" Who indeed? Look for the single on September 17th.

The EXCEPTIONALLY Bad
Okay. Somehow, my girlfriend and I managed to convince ourselves that it was a good idea to go see Swim Fan on opening weekend.

The movie was overly dramatic, predictable, and about as ridiculous as watching a single person swim slowly back and forth in a high school pool at midnight. In a nutshell, psycho-girl goes all Fatal Attraction for a boy on the swim team. A bunch of random drama happens before the killer finale (which just happens to also take place at a high school pool at midnight).

I'd give the movie two thumbs down and a "Grade D but Edible" ranking for this film. It wasn't quite as bad as Mariah Carey's Glitter, but that's a story for another occassion.

The UNBELIEVABLY Ugly
Up front, let me repeat what every sports journalist has stated. There will only ever be one Dream Team.

The nightmare that was the 2002 World Basketball Championship is simply indescribable. The United States had never lost a game in international competition using a team comprised of NBA players. This year we lost three and plunked ourselves in sixth place. (That means we need to attend next year's qualifying tournament to make the Olympics.)

Nevermind the pathetically aenemic turnouts. (We can blame the high ticket prices as easily as we could the lack of support for our team.) Nevermind that we didn't have Magic, Michael, and Larry (or Shaq, Kobe, and AI for that matter). And nevermind the hideous combination of that logo on a purple background. This is the worst finish the U.S. has ever had at the World Championships.

What happened? Let me leave it with the few following statements. Talent at the international level is rapidly catching up to us because they focus on fundamentals. I love and1 highlight reels as much as the next guy, but let's face it... basketball is a team sport that is not about dunking or dribbling like a fiend while trying to make your opponent look foolish. Our players don't have enough time to gel into a team where players "know" each other as well as some of these foreign teams. The international game is simply different. And, quite frankly, some of George Karl's coaching decisions were questionable.

Excuses aside, we were using NBA players who should've been able to win this tournament. We weren't using our best players, but we're still talking about some of the best (and most athletic) players in the world. Heck, even one loss would've been excusable. Three losses clearly shows us that it wasn't a fluke.

There are any number of solutions. Whatever. Hopefully this will reinvigorate the premiere players' sense of patriotism. (I'm just grumpy about this.) Mad props to Argentina, Yugoslavia, and Spain, yo. Word to their muthas.