I know it's a stoop to make cheap shots on easy targets and that I should be hip and indie, covering something more obscure like the time my great aunt showed me a photo album of the ever changing moles on her skin. But, man, that Michael Jackson sure is weird.

Hardly ever are babies dangling. And hardly ever are they dangling from a Michael Jackson. The man who made the moon walk famous is now known as a "baby dangler," which does have a better ring than "moonwalker" and "pedophile."

It's assumed that it was Michael's son, Prince Michael II, that he was holding off the balcony with one arm and a smile, supposedly to dry off a piece of his nose (zing!).

"That's not a Jackson," his mother was reported saying. "I know a Jackson and that's not a Jackson." No one was sure if she was talking about the baby or Michael (kazang!).

Is It Weird for Mr. Jackson to Do This?
It's really not all that weird for Mr. Jackson (or as idiots like to call him, "Wacko Jacko," because it rhymes and is more fitting than Maximum Jackson [although I'm sure he's pretty maximum in some things, like the way he loads his laundry]). This is THE Michael Jackson. Yes, hanging a severed head over his German fans would have been crazy. Yet just airing out wet towels would have been too normal, so he had to attach a baby to it. That's his magic touch.

This is nothing new. The King of Pop includes a baby in most of his daily routine. He golfs with a baby taped to his club, uses one to press elevator buttons, and he always keeps a spare baby in his trunk in case a tire blows out.

"It's rather ironic that a man who started charities to help unfortunate children is putting them in danger at the same time!" proclaimed Estelle Moreno, my great aunt and friend. "All this is so absurd!"

I couldn't tell if Estelle was really shaken by the whole baby dangling ordeal or not. I was talking to her through a Ouija board.