Riches and Fame Await
You, too, can be coined as the next Steven Spielberg –- using the M. Night Shyamalan Film Construction Kit. Just follow the very same simple formula that M. Night has used to produce blockbuster hits like Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and Signs.

Choose one from each of the following:

Sci Fi Cliche

1. Something that involves a time machine
2. Robots that learn to be human
3. Something voodoo related
4. An animal that plays sports
5. other _______

Mid 40s Male Hero Played by a Big Celebrity

1. Bruce Willis
2. George Clooney
3. Bruce Willis
4. Harrison Ford
5. other _______

Hero’s Surprising Realization

1. He’s been alive all along
2. He wasn’t Jewish
3. He really is a beautiful girl
4. He truly does have perfect teeth
5. He’s not gay
6. He finds out his friends secretly hate him
7. "Is that all I am to you?! Some sort of bet?!"
8. other _______

Creepy Kid

1. Frankie Muniz (Malcom from Malcolm in the Middle)
2. Emily Mae Young (white Welch’s Grape Juice girl)
3. Isla Clare Ng (Asian Welch’s Grape Juice girl)
4. Spencer Breslin (only because he played “young Bruce Willis” in Disney’s The Kid)
5. other _______

Director’s Placement in Film (playing minor roles)

1. The Obvious Statement Doctor
2. An Innocuous Mailman
3. Vapid Starbucks Barista
4. On the Coffee Table Next to a Book
5. other ________

Now execute each element very very slowly. Soon you will be whisked off to a world of high cinematic praise from journalists and movie goers alike, as well as being mocked by pretentious sounding jerks that nobody cares about.