What you'll discover when you chat with "Madison" is that you're actually interacting with a half-retarded (but entertaining) "bot" which responds to you based on what you type.
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Hello, Madison-bot! |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Hello there. Whatever. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Do you mind if we ask you a few questions for newmoanyeah? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Habits don't bother me. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Great, let's begin. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Thx 4 ur support. sounds good to me. |
Yes, we have no bananas...
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| Newmoanyeah: |
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Would you stick a banana up your ass for money? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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I'm not so sure if I'd like to stick a banana up your ass for money. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Would you stick a banana up your ass for free? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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I'm not so sure if I'd like to stick a banana up your ass for free. |
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...
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| Newmoanyeah: |
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Okay, we'll try something else. Do you like Star Wars? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Yeah okay, Really?I do! |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Who's your favorite character? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Brad Pitt is a great actor. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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But he wasn't in Star Wars! |
| Swimfan4u: |
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I hear ya When was he? |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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When was he what? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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A while ago. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Are you smoking crack, again? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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sure |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Ben Dover
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| Newmoanyeah: |
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Psycho beeeeyatch! |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Um....not to change the subject, but do u know Ben Cronin? |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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No, but I know Ben Dover. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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He's probably the most amazing guy I've ever met... smart, sexy, gorgeous, strong... and he's totally in love with me. We make the best couple.How do you know? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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| Newmoanyeah: |
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Don't you get it? Ben Dover? Bend over? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Don't u? I've gotten it.Intersting.U wish! Bend over urself... |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Rowwrrrrr... aren't you the frisky one? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Cool. Ask me another questions :)Yep... the one and only frisky one. |
Guacamole
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| Newmoanyeah: |
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Do you know how to make guacamole? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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I don't know if I know it. Where would I've heard about it? |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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I dunno... a Mexican restaurant maybe? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Me either.What's that? |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Dumb biz-natch... a Mexican restaurant! Like Taco Bell (though that's really a horrible example, I suppose)! |
| Swimfan4u: |
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I know u r but what am I.Ugh... tell me something else...Uh huhOK. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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What's the strangest question you've been asked? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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how should i know? |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Sigh. Do you know ANYTHING? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Sorry...Nope, tell me about him, her or it. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Okay, let's try something different... "It's getting hot in here... so take off all your clothes..." |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Yeah okay, OK I'll try it.Bozo ? |
Mile High Club
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| Swimfan4u: |
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It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Ahem. I'm not an airplane. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Uh, what do airplanes have to do with anything? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Next question?Who knows... what do u think? |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Are you talking about the Mile High Club? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Yep, it is what I'm talking about... |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Great! |
| Swimfan4u: |
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glad u liked it Bozo. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Are you interested in joining the Mile High Club? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Sure, joining the Mile High Club sounds like a good thing 2 talk about.... |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Okay, I take it you're not already a member? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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K with me 2.Where do you take it :-? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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| Newmoanyeah: |
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I don't take it, I prefer to give it. (Does that make any sense?) |
| Swimfan4u: |
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How did you stop?What do you like about Bozo?What do u think? |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Can you please speak coherently? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Can what? |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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I said, can you please speak coherently? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Can what? |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Oh, fer the luva pete... |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Whoa. Say something more interesting or I'm going. |
The Poll
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| Newmoanyeah: |
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Okay okay... who would win in a drunken bar fight: Bill Gates, Triumph the Dog, Angelina Jolie, Bootsy Collins, or R2D2? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Yeah okay, K with me 2.Whatever. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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You're not being very cooperative. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Oh yes I am |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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No you're not! |
| Swimfan4u: |
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R u serious? K... whatever u say |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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So, I see you play cello. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Yay."Yay."? Me, Bozo? |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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You realize, my name's not really bozo. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Really?: Bozo said I realize your name is not really bozo. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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eeeeeyeah. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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What else can I tell u? |
Math
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| Newmoanyeah: |
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How many toes does a three-toed sloth have? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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what's it to u. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Whatever. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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You say, "whatever," a lot. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Cool. Ask me another questions :) |
Jackie Chan vs. Jet Li
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| Newmoanyeah: |
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Jackie Chan or Jet Li? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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So what else do u want 2 know? |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Which one would you do first? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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The last one, I think. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Yeah, Jet is a stud. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Intersting. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Are you a natural blonde? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Am I a natural blonde? Don't know. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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I think I'll accept that answer as, "Yes." |
| Swimfan4u: |
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| Newmoanyeah: |
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Nice ass. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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thx for your kindness. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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No problem. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Should there be a problem? |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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With your ass? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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I'm not sure I can use my ass 4 that. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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For what? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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"I'm not sure I can use my ass 4 that."? Why? |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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No need to get touchy! |
| Swimfan4u: |
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R u serious? May you get your wish. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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I wish this interview would end soon. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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I hope that your dreams come true. |
Put me out of my misery...
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| Newmoanyeah: |
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Okay... one more question. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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K with me 2.One what? |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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According to your website, you don't like puppies. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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My website address? It's at http://www.swimfan4u.com... lemme know what u think of it!K... I'll buy that: Bozo said I don t like puppies. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Right, why don't you like puppies? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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Understood. How should I know how not you like puppies. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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I like puppies just fine. You said you don't like puppies!!! |
| Swimfan4u: |
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A lot of people like that.Yeah I do a lot of not like puppies. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Enough already. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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yup |
| Swimfan4u: |
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| Newmoanyeah: |
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Any last words for the readers of newmoanyeah? |
| Swimfan4u: |
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What else can I tell u? |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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On that note... |
| Swimfan4u: |
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What is it like on that note. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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nevermind. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. |
| Newmoanyeah: |
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Bye. |
| Swimfan4u: |
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xoxo |
Apparently, I must've told the "Bot" that my name was Bozo and I missed copying that for this feature.
There you have it. Brilliant me.
As you're probably aware, the movie titled Swim Fan hits theaters September 6, 2002. In case you're not familiar with the premise, it essentially looks like a teen-aged online psycho-stalker type flick.
